My Definitively Subjective Star Wars Movie Ranking

It’s an amazing time to be a nerd.

I’ve found myself thinking and saying that a lot over the last several years. I’ve always been a nerd – Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Monty Python, DC, Marvel, and everything in between.

I remember sitting in elementary school having Star Wars trivia contests with my friends. Who was Luke’s childhood best friend? What was the name of the droid Uncle Owen almost bought instead of R2-D2? That sort of thing.

When I was home sick as a kid, I wore out our Star Wars trilogy VHS tapes.

And yes, Han shot first.

I have LOVED the onslaught of new Star Wars movies. They should have waited to release Solo until this holiday season, but whatever. I am definitely not one of those Star Wars “fans” who nitpick every little thing and boycott the movies. I will have opening night tickets to every single Star Wars movie and will see it multiple times in theater.

Is every Star Wars movie a masterpiece? No, not by a long shot. But each movie has something I can really appreciate for what it’s worth. And I just want to say….if you only really like 2 out of 10 movies, then you aren’t truly a Star Wars fan.

So without further ado, here is my Definitively Subjective Star Wars Movie Ranking.

1. Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back
Rarely in the world of cinema is a sequel better than the first. Empire is a near-perfect follow-up to the surprise worldwide phenomenon. We thought that after the destruction of the Death Star, the rebels would have the Empire up against the ropes. But the opposite ends up being the case. The scrappy rebellion is still fighting for survival against the galactic war machine helmed by Darth Vader.

In a masterful piece of story telling, the good guys don’t win the day. The plot is full of betrayals, backstabbing, double crossing, love, jealousy, and “defeat snatched from the jaws of victory.” I mean, it doesn’t get any more Star Wars than this installment. It has the most-quoted lines (“No! I am your father.”) and the most iconic imagery (AT-ATs, carbonite, light saber duels, and Yoda). The Empire Strikes Back is what every movie sequel strives to be.

2. Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
The indie movie that became a global cultural phenomenon was ahead of its time in many ways. It’s a traditional “hero’s journey” movie that has been copied time and time again – because it works. I will forever be loyal to this movie that introduced us to Luke, Han, Chewbacca, Leia, Obi-Wan, C-3PO, R2-D2, and Darth Vader. For a 1970s sci-fi movie made on a shoe-string budget with practical effects and first-time actors, this movie still holds up surprisingly well 40 years later.



This is where it gets a bit more controversial and subjective…..

3. Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens
The characters, plot, action, and humor of The Force Awakens make this one of the most rewatchable installments in the saga. Yes, it has a lot of similarities to the original. Yes, Kylo Ren is an angsty emo kid. Yes, ****SPOILERS**** Han Solo dies. But The Force Awakens recaptures the feel and magic of the original trilogy. I absolutely love Rey and Poe and BB-8 and Finn.

4. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
The first non-saga movie was a pleasant surprise. I appreciate everything it was trying to do. Yeah, you could say it was a whole movie just to fill a plot hole in the original. But it was more than that. It made the Empire worth fearing. It established the original trilogy within the galaxy ruled under the tyrannical fist of the Empire. Rogue One also shows the moral ambiguity of the rebellion at times.

And come on – that last 90 seconds with Darth Vader was one of the best scenes in the entirety of Star Wars.

5. Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi
I’ve gotta say that when I was a kid, this was my favorite. I loved the scenes in Jabba’s palace. I loved the Ewoks. I loved the speeder bikes and the space battle. I loved the duel between Luke and Vader at the end with the redemption of Vader. But when I watch it as an adult I realize how much this movie was targeted to kids. It could have been a lot darker and grittier following ESB. But they played it safe in order to sell more toys – which totally worked. I only hope the newest trilogy doesn’t follow the same path with Episode IX.

6. Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi
This movie took a lot of risks. The “fans” complained that The Force Awakens was too much like the originals, so The Last Jedi tried to break away from the common tropes and expectations of the originals – and the “fans” complained again. I thought it worked really well on many levels. It was a very meta movie, telling you the whole time what it was doing – “Let the past die…” “This is not going to go the way you think…” Kylo Ren and Rey both came into their own. They can no longer rely on the past to lead them into the future. I think that says something about Star Wars over all.

The Last Jedi has one of the coolest light saber battles, one of the most visually stunning space battle scenes, and Yoda! It would be higher on my list, but it’s not quite as rewatchable as others.

7. Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith
Revenge of the Sith had the darkness and the grittiness that I wish Return of the Jedi would have had. RotS, however, almost goes too dark. But it captures the transformation of Anakin to Vader in a visceral way. Obi Wan is the hero of the prequels. As unbelievable as Anakin and Obi Wan’s friendship seems at some points because of bad acting/writing, when things fall apart, you feel it. That final duel between them is haunting.

Full disclosure, I’ve seen Revenge of the Sith fewer times than any other movie on this list.

8. Solo: A Star Wars Story
I really enjoyed Solo. It was a fun, campy, action-packed heist movie. Think Italian Job in space. Was it entirely necessary? No. But I’m glad it’s here. Like Rogue One, Solo establishes the Empire as a force to be feared and the rebellion as a fledgling grassroots resistance movement. The actor playing Han offered a surprisingly convincing portrayal of the character. Lando was spot-on. I loved seeing the fresh, new Millennium Falcon pull of the Kessel Run. And when Maul appeared on screen, there was an audible gasp throughout the theater. There’s SO MUCH they could do with the Maul storyline…if they ever do another “Star Wars Story.”

9. Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace
THE BAD: the writing, the politics (Trade Federation? Are you kidding?), goofy battle droids, naked C-3PO, midichlorians, and Jar. Jar. Binks.

THE GOOD: the worlds, Qui Gon Jinn and Obi Wan Kinobi, Darth Maul with the double-bladed lightsaber, the BEST light saber duel in all of Star Wars, the pod race, expanding the Jedi/Force lore

10. Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones
I’ve tried rewatching this a few time recently and get the same feeling each time: Bored. I forgot how much of this movie involves slowly walking and talking. There’s action at the beginning and in the last 30 minutes. The rest is just slow and/or annoying. There is absolutely no chemistry between Anakin and Padme. Obi Wan’s skills are wasted. The main villain, Count Dooku, is completely dull and forgettable. If anything, this movie feels like an introduction to the Clone Wars animated series – which I think is better than Attack of the Clones.

How does your list compare? I know this is a pretty controversial subject among nerds, but I’d love to hear from you.

For comparison’s sake, here are the Star Wars movies ranked by Tomatometer Score:
1. The Empire Strikes Back (95%)
2. The Force Awakens (93%)
3. A New Hope (93%)
4. The Last Jedi (91%)
5. Rogue One (84%)
6. Return of the Jedi (80%)
7. Revenge of the Sith (79%)
8. Solo (70%)
9. Attack of the Clones (66%)
10. The Phantom Menace (55%)

Blinded

“I can’t see anything.”

“You’re suffering from hibernation sickness. You’re eyesight will return soon.”

“Where am I?”

“Jabba’s palace.”

“Who are you?”

“Someone who loves you very much.”

Han and Leia share a kiss, and live happily ever after. It’s not every day that the damsel rescues the knight in distress.

Anyway, Han spends the next several scenes in a state of near-blindness. I feel his pain. The same thing happens to me when I stumble to the bathroom at 2 am and flip the light switch. It’s painful to go from several hours of darkness to instant light. How much more pain must Han have felt after such a long time frozen in carbonite?

I can across this passage this morning which I have read many times, yet I noticed something new this time. 1 John 2:10-11 says, “Whoever loves his brother abides in the light and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes.”

The verdict is still out on whether or not someone can actually go blind from being in utter darkness for extended periods of time. Some say yes, you can go blind from darkness after several weeks because the muscles in and around the eyes would atrophy and the rods and cones would eventually die out. Others say no, there is no evidence that eyesight will be completely lost but it will take a while for the eyes to adjust back–like Han Solo.

Regardless, I feel like we have all experienced “blindness” from the dark. The movie is over and some idiot flips the light switch without giving the proper warning. Your mom turns on your lights to wake you up for school and the only logical response is to pull the covers up over your head to protect your eyes from the pain of the light. You get up to use the restroom at 2 am and miss because you have been blinded by the darkness.

I think you get my point. John is saying the same thing here about those who hate their fellow man. He says they are living in darkness and just stumble around. Even when they try to come out of that darkness and show love, they don’t know where they are going because they have been blinded.

Coming out of the darkness and into the light is a painful process, and it takes some time to adjust for most people. But instead of turning the lights out again quickly to avoid the pain, John is urging us to live in the light.

That means adjusting to the light. Living in love. Saying no to hate and malice while saying yes to compassion and mercy. By living a life of love, we will clearly see where we are going. No more stumbling around or pulling the covers over our heads.

And who know. When you come out of the darkness and into the light, you may just find someone who loves you very much.