The Missing Piece

I’m going to lose ten pounds.
I’m going to run a 10k.
I’m going to work to earn a promotion.
I’m going to go back to school for a higher degree.
I’m going to quit drinking / smoking / overeating.
I’m going to work out 3 days a week.

Sound familiar?

There’s a story I came across while researching for a new sermon series beginning this January. Three frogs were sitting on a log on the shore of the lake one hot summer day. One frog decides to jump in the lake. How many frogs are on the log?

Three. Deciding and doing are not the same thing.

This is the time of year when everyone seems to reflect back on the year that was 2025 while also looking ahead to the year to come, 2026. Maybe there are some real lifestyle changes you need to make. Maybe things didn’t go so great for you and you realize it’s because of the choices you made.

Maybe for some of us the greatest gift we can offer ourselves is the gift of self-acceptance. I’ll let you think that one over for a bit.

But here’s the thing. I’ve read many “self-help” books over the years. I am all for self-improvement and being the best version of myself I can be – for my wife, my children, my church, and myself. I’m thankful for the authors who have done research and put in the effort to make their findings accessible and understandable. But now those books are on the shelf collecting dust.

There is a disconnect between the head and the heart. We can know all the things to do. We know we need to eat less and move more. We know we need to cook more at home and eat out less. We know we should be more generous and grateful. We can know all this, but still fall back into our old habits and patterns of living.

Water and humans both follow the path of least resistance.

I’ve grown to understand that most of our problems are not necessarily physical or psychological. Most of our problems are spiritual. And there is a LOT of resistance to growing spiritually connected with our Creator.

It all goes back to the beginning. In the Garden, Adam and Eve had all their needs taken care of. They had food, shelter, comfort, relationship, love, peace (not clothing, but that’s for another time). I think something breaks inside us when we have all those needs met. We begin to wonder if there is something else. We begin to question whether this really is the best life for us. We feel like something is missing. And so we go searching.

Adam and Eve went searching for that something in the forbidden fruit. Some of us search for it in our jobs, in our families, or in our friendships. Some search for what is missing in video games, TikTok, Facebook, sports, politics, or ChatGPT. Still others turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, or gambling. There are those who even turn to religion itself to find the missing piece.

I think we fall into these traps because we are restless. We are bored. We are disconnected from the source of life. And so instead of pursuing those things which are life-giving, we end up turning to those very things that suck the life right out of us. Sure we get a momentary high, a rush of chemicals in our brains that make us feel good when we press “Buy Now,” scroll to the next video, or take another shot of Jack.

We all know this high is fleeting. So we chase the next one. And the next. Hoping this time something will be different. It’s what the book of Ecclesiastes calls “vanity” or “meaningless.” And it’s what The Big Book of AA calls “insanity” – doing the same thing and expecting different results.

And we know this is exactly what it is – insanity. The high is followed by a crash. We put on weight because we can’t say no to the cookies. We fall into debt because we have to have the next new thing delivered to our doorstep. We destroy our health and our relationships because we can’t put down the bottle, or the blunt, or the game controller. It’s a vicious cycle that we all fall victim to. And when we feel our heads barely poking out over the waters, just enough to draw a quick breath, we find ourselves crying out the same words of the apostle Paul:
Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? (Romans 7:24, NLT)

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. In fact, you’re human. Congratulations. We’ve been playing this game since the beginning. But there is hope. There is a way off the hamster wheel of death.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10, NIV)

There’s a hymn we used to sing. “Turn your eyes upon Jesus / Look full in his wonderful face / And the things of earth will grow strangely dim / in the light of his glory and grace.” Those self-help and self-improvement books may have some value. But what I’ve noticed is it’s hard to stick to a diet when all you’re thinking about is food. It’s hard to do the right thing when all you’re thinking about is not doing the wrong thing.

Scripture is full of these reminders. Paul tells us in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” The author of Hebrews, similarly, encourages us to “lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith” (Hebrews 12:1-2, CSB).

Our problems are not merely physical or psychological or financial in nature. We are spiritual beings, and our problems are spiritual in nature. This isn’t to say if read your Bible, pray, and come to church then all your problems will vanish. I’m simply trying to get us to understand the truth observed so long ago by St. Augustine: “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.”

I hope you’ve made a decision. Now what are you going to do? What’s the next right thing? Whatever your plans, goals, dreams, aspirations – be sure you are drawing nearer to your Creator in the process. Be sure to bathe the process in prayer. Turn your eyes on Jesus and draw closer to him. Rely heavily on the power of the Holy Spirit living inside you.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. (Proverbs 16:3, NIV)