Those Who Mourn, part 1

God, Where are you? Have you turned you back on me completely?
I feel like you’re so far away,
Off in the heavens, somewhere out…there.
As I speak, it feels like my words are just hitting the ceiling.
I’m crying out to you day and night,
So why won’t you answer me?

I know you’re holy, you are bigger than me.
You are worshipped by millions of people around the world.
I remember all the Bible stories I heard in Sunday school,
About Joseph, Daniel, Job, and the others.
They cried out to you, and you brought them through.
They put their trust in you and you made good on your promise.

But how can I compete with them?
I’m nothing compared to those great men I have read about.
I don’t fit in, I don’t belong.
My own youth group doesn’t accept me.
Everyone at school makes fun of the fact that I’m a Christian.
They mock my faith in you, they mock your power,
And now I’m beginning to believe them.

I feel so hypocritical when I’m around them
Because I try to fit in.
It’s hard to tell how real my faith is sometimes.

You have been my God since I was born.
I’ve been going to church and Sunday school since I was in diapers.
I’ve grown up hearing about you,
But I guess I never really felt you
I never truly experienced you.

I don’t want you to be that far away ever again
Especially in this part of my life.
The guys at school just don’t know when to quit.
They keep pushing me around because I’m the little guy.
My friends have made stabbed me in the back.
People spread rumors about me.
They go out of their way to make my life miserable,
All because I’m a Christian.

I’m close to calling it quits. It doesn’t feel worth it anymore.
Please, just show me something, anything!
Let me know you’re here, with me, right now –
Not off somewhere out there.

I need you.

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Now playing: The Decemberists – The Soldering Life
via FoxyTunes