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POOR | 40 Days of Focus, Day 18

 

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
(Matthew 5:3 | New International Version) 

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
(Matthew 5:3 | The Message)

When we focus in on aspects of Scripture like the 10 Commandments, it can be easy to think religion is all about following a set of rule and regulation. For the Jews, it wasn’t just the 10 Commandments. All together the Rabbis tallied 613 commands in the Torah. Beyond that they developed their own traditions and practices to act as a sort of “hedge” around the commands so they wouldn’t even come close to breaking them.

For instance, the command to keep the Sabbath Day holy evolved into an elaborate system of regulations concerning how far one could walk, what tasks could be done if absolutely necessary, and trying to define “work” as tightly as possible. Religion became more about rights, rituals, rules, and regulations than it was about relationship – which is what God wanted all along.

We humans sure do put the “mental” in fundamentalism!

The 10 Commandments were given on Mount Sinai. Jesus comes along and delivers his first major sermon on what is today known as the “Mount of Beatitudes.” He doesn’t begin with commands, but blessings. Religion says You’re blessed if you follow these rules. Jesus says You’re blessed. There are no “ifs.” This list of blessings, commonly known as the Beatitudes, are not a checklist for us to adhere to. It’s not telling us how we should be or what we should do. Jesus is looking out at the crowd, seeing the oppressed and the disenfranchised and calling them “Blessed.”

I’m going to address each of the Beatitudes in Enneagram language. If you aren’t familiar with the Enneagram, then go check out my Enneagram page to find out more. According to the Enneagram, there are nine basic personality types, or “false selves,” and each one of us is dominant in one type. And I believe that each Enneagram number finds a blessing and word of encouragement in these Beatitudes.

Jesus begins by pronouncing a blessing on “the poor in spirit.” I’ve never really heard a satisfying explanation of what Jesus meant by that. But when I think of it in Enneagram language it begins to make sense. I believe Jesus speaks this blessing on Enneagram Type Threes – the Performers or Achievers. These are the type of people who put a lot of stock in success, or at least the appearance of success. They are very action driven, and they fear failure and insignificance.

Threes want it all. Threes want to achieve their goals, knock off their to-do list, and look good doing it. They want all the markers of success and status symbols for whatever “in-group” they’re trying to impress. Want an example? Just watch one episode of Parks and Rec. Leslie Knope is a THREE.

Failure can be devastating for a Three. It makes them feel worthless and insignificant. Imposter Syndrome is a big problem for a lot of Threes – everyone thinks you’re better than you really are, and only you know your true failings and faults. It’s a byproduct of their own success and achievement. They knocked it out of the park once, now they have to do it again…and again…and they have to do it bigger and better. It’s a cycle that never ends, but it’s one of their own making. They feel stuck and wish they could break free. No matter what they do, it’s never quite good enough. There is no end.

That’s why I love the way Eugene Peterson phrased it in The Message: “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope.”

The song “High Hopes” by Panic! At the Disco has become somewhat of a Three anthem. There’s one line repeated a few times that just nails it: “We wanted everything more than everything.” And what’s the promise to those who are “poor in spirit” or “at the end of their rope?” Their’s is the kingdom of heaven. Or again as Peterson puts it: “With less of you there is more of God and his rule.”

The worst thing that can happen to a Three is failure and burnout. But the best thing that can ever happen to a Three is failure and burnout. When everything comes easy to an Achiever, they begin to get an inflated self-image. Threes fear failure and its repercussions, but in many ways they will never find real growth unless they experience failure. Threes have a tendency to believe the lie, “I am only as valuable as my latest success.” Only through failure can Threes begin to correct that lie and experience the truth that “I am loved not for what I do but for who I am.”

The world urges us to believe we are #blessed if we have all the stuff we want. We’ve got to be part of the hustle. We’ve got to grind for what we want.

Jesus says you’re blessed when you give up, when you dare to redefine success according to God’s terms.

Actress/Comedian Lily Tomlin is famous for saying, “The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” Or as Jesus would put it:

For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?
(Mark 8:35-37)

When you decide to get out before you burn out, when you resolve not to keep up with the Joneses anymore, when you redefine what success means, when you’re at the end of your rope – that’s where you’ll find the Kingdom of Heaven, ready and waiting for you.

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Do you struggle to believe you are loved for who you are, not for what you do? Why or why not?


Have you ever experienced real failure or burnout? How did it make you feel? How did you recover from it?


If you were to redefine success according to God’s terms for your life, what would that actually look like? How would your life be different?

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Biblical Enneagram Types: THREES

Enneagram Type THREES are commonly known as “The Performer” or “The Achiever.” Threes are driven by a need to succeed, or at least to appear successful. Threes aim to impress others with their skills, their knowledge, and their accomplishments. This is why the vice of Threes is deceit. Threes are expert “mask-wearers.” Threes can become whoever they need to be in any given situation in order to fit in or to make others think highly of them. The danger for Threes is that they can become social chameleons to the point that they lose their own identity, deceiving others to the degree that they end up believing their own false persona. Self-deceit is the true vice of Threes.

But the gift of Threes is truthfulness and authenticity. Threes have really good BS-detectors. They can see through the charades of others because they are so accustomed to the games people play. Healthy Threes value honesty in their relationships and with themselves. They can give you an honest assessment of the world as they see it, and they can tell you how to make things better. Streamlining, productivity, and efficiency are second nature to Threes.

Threes get stuff done.

Every Type has some of God’s own nature in them. When I think of the Performer or Achiever, I think of all the times we are reminded of what God has done for us. “Come and see what God has done.” “The Lord has done great things.”

As a Three, I relate to God as “The First Mover.” God has done the work of salvation for us. This also reassures me that there’s nothing I can do to make God love me any more or any less. I don’t have to work for God’s acceptance. I don’t have to “succeed” in order to earn God’s favor.

One prime example of a Three in the Bible is Jacob. Jacob’s story is recorded in the middle part of Genesis. Jacob and his brother Esau were the fraternal twin sons of Isaac and Rebekah, the grandsons of Abraham and Sarah. Even from the womb, Jacob was a deceiver. At their birth, Jacob’s limb stuck out first, but his brother was actually the firstborn. Jacob came second, grasping the heal of Esau. Jacob’s name literally means “heal grabber” or “deceiver.”

Jacob would eventually go on to trick his older brother out of his birthright and his blessing. Jacob’s early days represent the unhealthiest side of Threes – success at any cost. Unhealthy Threes can be ultra-competitive. They divide the world into winners and losers, and they definitely wouldn’t be caught dead among the “losers.” Failure is not an option. For unhealthy Threes like Jacob, the ends absolutely justify the means in achieving success and being known as the best.

Unhealthy Threes are not in tune with their emotions at all. They have the ability to compartmentalize their lives in such a way that negative emotions don’t necessarily have any bearing their ability to perform. But this can also mean that Threes try to avoid conflict, especially in times of stress. Rather than confront Esau and own up to his actions, Jacob runs.

While on the run, Jacob receives a vision from God with angels ascending and descending from heaven. Even at his lowest, God reassured Jacob that he was with him, that he was watching over him, that he was loved and pursued. I think this is a message that most Threes need to hear.

Jacob then went to work for his Uncle Laban. While working there, Laban gave Jacob a taste of his own medicine by deceiving him into marrying Leah AND Rachel. But during this time it seems as if Jacob turns a corner. He no longer tries to win at all costs. He works hard for what he wants, knowing that his efforts will pay off in the end if he’s patient enough to follow through. While working for Laban, Jacob gains wives and sons and a lot of wealth. But he also learns patience and humility.

Threes grow through struggle and challenge. If things come too easy to Threes, then they stay stuck in their unhealthy patterns of vanity, deception, and a win-at-all-costs mentality.

The ultimate challenge for Jacob came when he made the decision to go home and confront his past – possibly one of the hardest things for a Three to do. While Jacob was making his way back home, he had an encounter with God that would leave him crippled. Jacob wrestled with God all night, showing his dedication to the struggle and his unwillingness to give up when things got hard – true growth for a Three. In security, Threes go to the healthy side of Six, the Loyalist. They become more others-focused, more dedicated, more loyal, more in touch with their own emotions and those of others. In refusing to give up when things got hard, Jacob showed real maturity and transformation.

But he also failed. Jacob didn’t win in his wrestling match. Sometimes, the best thing that can happen to a Three is failure. We learn far more from our failures than we do from our successes. Threes want to avoid failure at all costs, but it’s the very thing that can lead to growth and transformation.

When Jacob finally did confront Esau, things were not nearly as bad as he had imagined. He had feared for the worst – that Esau would still hold his deceptions against him and would seek revenge for all that Jacob had taken from him. Much to Jacob’s surprise, he was greeted with the open arms of forgiveness.

This can completely rock a Threes’ world. Threes, especially unhealthy Threes, have a hard time believing that they are worthy of love and acceptance. They know their own deceitfulness and vanity. They know their own faults that they are trying to hide from the rest of the world. When those faults, failures, shortcomings, and sins are laid bare for all the world to see, and they are still forgiven and loved anyway, that is almost more than a Three can bear.

Before Jacob met his brother face to face, he tried to soften things up by sending flocks and herds and gifts. Look at the interaction that follows.

Esau asked, “What’s the meaning of all these flocks and herds I met?”
“To find favor in your eyes, my lord,” he said.
But Esau said, “I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself.”
“No, please!” said Jacob. “If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably. Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.” And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted it.
(Genesis 33:8-11)

Once Threes turn a corner in their lives they are no longer driven by success, vanity, and appearances, but rather by truthfulness, authenticity, and acceptance. This can take a lifetime for a Three to learn, and it only comes through the very thing Threes avoid the most – failure.

If you are a Three, like I am, you must stop fearing failure. You must stop believing the lies: “I am what I do; I am what I have; and I am what others say I am.” You are a child of God. You are loved, accepted, and pursued by God. Even if your worst and darkest part of yourself is fully known, you can also experience love and grace and forgiveness.
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If you haven’t yet, check out the song “Three” by Sleeping at Last
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The Fear of Insignificance | My Life As A THREE

In his book The Sacred Enneagram, Chris Heuertz explains it this way:

Their quietly competitive nature is rooted in their inner drive to prove to themselves that they are valuable. This inner drive is perpetuated by the Basic Fear of the Three, that somehow they are hopelessly worthless and characteristically base.

Ian Cron and Suzanne Stabile frame it this way in The Road Back to You:

Once in a blue moon when Threes slow down long enough to reflect on their lives, they might feel like they’re a fraud. I wear a thousand masks, but which is the authentic me? When this flash of insight comes to them it surfaces a Three’s worst fear: What if there’s no one behind the image? What if I’m no more than an empty suit?

The Basic Need for Threes is success, whatever that looks like to us. You would think that would make failure the corresponding Fear of the Three. And while we Threes try to avoid *public* failure at all costs, I’m not really that afraid of failure. If I try something and it doesn’t work, then I try something else. Threes are adaptable like that.

The problem with failure, though, is that it’s so closely tied to our own sense of self-worth. We avoid failure because we fear being viewed as not valuable, worthless, useless, insignificant. If I’m going to bust my tail working, performing, achieving, sacrificing, doing…I want to know that it will all be worth it in the end.

What if I’m no more than an empty suit?


THE SEARCH FOR SIGNIFICANCE

 Again, I can’t speak for all Threes, I can only share my own experience. But I think I can say this with confidence: Being a Three pastor is so hard!

You would think that pastoring would be great for Threes. We get to be up in front leading. Our job is very performative. We get the praise and respect of a lot of people. We get to change masks constantly and almost no one knows. (I’ll get to the mask-wearing bit in a later post.)

While all those things are true, it can also be incredibly frustrating work. There is no end to ministry. I can never say that I’m done or that I’ve accomplished everything I want to. There is often very little guidance and few guidelines. And worst of all, there is no good, clear measure of success for a pastor.

Is success defined by attendance numbers? Baptisms? Giving? What happens when the numbers begin to drop? Even if it’s not our fault, we can’t help but take these things personally – because our identity is so closely tied to what we do.

And to make matters worse, the 21st Century American culture doesn’t value the leadership of pastors (especially youth pastors!) like we used to. Church is optional, even for most Christians. The job of pastoring is getting harder and harder with less and less payoff. That’s a terrible way of viewing the work, but it’s how Threes, especially, see the world.

So as a minister, I’ve found that I can’t stake my sense of significance solely within the framework of traditional church. If I want to make an impact, I have to be involved in other aspects of community life. That’s why you won’t find me in the office as much as you used to. I get the feeling that I’m not the only minister who feels this way.

MORE THAN USELESS

Where have I been searching for significance?

I’ve been substitute teaching at the high school and junior high in town. I’ve been getting involved with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes at both schools. I hold leadership positions in both the Mitchell Area Ministerial Association and the Lawrence County Youth Network. There is a Teen Pregnancy Prevention Coalition that has started up recently that I’m involved with. I’m getting my oldest son involved in Scouts and Soccer programs.

I write blog posts.

As I type all this out I realize that significance is another one of those intangibles. That’s the paradox of the Three. We want to feel significant so badly that we exchange significance for busyness in order to feel like we’re somehow gaining significance.

The “wounding message” Threes received in childhood is that we are loved and valued for what we do. Threes don’t crave success. We crave the feelings love and significance that comes from it. This sets us on an endless cycle to do more in order to feel more valuable. Believe it or not, Threes really do have a hard time accepting that we are loved no matter what we do. We all need to have a moment of realization that we have intrinsic worth and value whether we “succeed” or not.

It took me a long time to come to grips with this. And still most days I have a hard time remembering it. And this is why one of the best things that can happen to a Three is to experience that which we strive so hard to avoid: public failure. For many Threes, myself included, the only thing that will finally and fully convince us of our own value is failing publicly in a big way – and still receiving love and acceptance from those closest to us.

When I fail and think What if I’m no more than an empty suit? God is there to remind me that I am his beloved child. That’s why this song from Relient K has been so helpful to me over the years.

If you are a Three, what has been your experience with finding significance? Do you struggle with earning love and worth? Remember that you are God’s beloved, not because of anything you’ve done but because of who God is.
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My Life as a THREE

So like I said in an earlier post, I’ve been really diving into the Enneagram the last couple of years. I am by no means an expert. But I have seen the truth and beauty in the system. No, it’s not scientific; however, it’s true at some deep level I can’t quite describe.

I’ve taken the Meyers-Briggs and the DISC personality inventories before. They were interesting, but they weren’t really all that helpful in my day-to-day life. So I went for several years not really giving much thought to personality and development. Then I came across the Enneagram through some podcasts I listened to. That’s when everything changed.

I did what you do. I read up on some of the numbers, and I took an online test or two. I originally tested as a ONE, but that didn’t seem quite right. After a while it became clear that I am dominant in Type THREE. As I read and researched more, I found myself being described in ways I never could have voiced before. Someone knew me. Someone knew my desires, my fears, my approach to relationships, and my view of work. Someone knew exactly what I do when I get stressed out. Someone knew. How did they know?

Because I’m no expert, I’m not going to take time right now to lead you through the entire journey. There are many great resources available right now that can help you if you are seeking the wisdom of the Enneagram for your life.

What I want to do is relate my lived experience of being a THREE. I know, that’s a very 3 thing to want to do. But honestly, I don’t want the spotlight to be on me. I want to show any skeptics, critics, or seekers out there how true the Enneagram can be.

The Enneagram Institute has some helpful resources and descriptions of each Type if you want to find out more. But here is the basic overview of Type THREE.

Threes are self-assured, attractive, and charming. Ambitious, competent, and energetic, they can also be status-conscious and highly driven for advancement. They are diplomatic and poised, but can also be overly concerned with their image and what others think of them. They typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness. At their Best: self-accepting, authentic, everything they seem to be—role models who inspire others.

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LIFE AS A THREE – DEFINING SUCCESS

I didn’t think I was a 3 at first. Like I said, I originally tested as a ONE. Why? Because I’ve known 3s like they are described above. I’ve known the types of guys who work a crowd, who name drop in conversations, who always try to one-up everyone else and flaunt their successes. I can’t stand those people. Then I realized I can see right through their game because I am that person, too.

I’m not an extroverted 3, which is kind of a weird dynamic. I’m more introverted. So the descriptions of 3s often sound like caricatures and stereotypes. I’m not overly competitive in the way most people think. But my driving motivation is the need to be (or appear to be) successful.

Pursuing success doesn’t necessarily mean climbing the corporate ladder, wearing the finest clothes, driving the nicest cars, etc. Success doesn’t have to mean fame and recognition by the countless masses. As a 3 I realize that success is a self-defined term. Success is whatever I think it is. And the appearance of success takes different forms depending on what in-group we’re trying to impress.

What does that look like for me? Well…I’m a youth minister, so I’m not ever going to have the biggest house or the nicest car. I drive a hand-me-down ’99 Civic that does 0 to 60 eventually. But get this – I have a beard; I wear Converse and Vans; I carry a leather messenger bag; I work on a MacBook Pro; I read on an iPad; I post to Instagram using my iPhone. These are all “status symbols” among youth pastors. Even the crappy Civic adds to the whole “dedicated youth worker” vibe.

As a youth minister, success is hard to define and pursue. That’s the nature of church work. When can I say I’ve “succeeded”? There’s really no advancement unless I moved to a bigger church (which is a really terrible way of “moving up the ladder”). I try hard to avoid the numbers trap. So I typically have to find other ways to measure success – often in the form of status symbols of some kind. Church work can be an anxiety-inducing beast for an unhealthy 3. We’re always chasing success that is always out of reach.

The pursuit of success and achievement can lead 3s to become overly competitive. But for me, the competitive drive is with myself. I don’t need to be better than other people. I only need to be better than myself. I’ve always felt a drive to be the best me possible.

When I was in high school, it wasn’t enough to be a straight-A student. I had to be Valedictorian – and I was. It wasn’t enough to play trumpet. I had to be first chair – and I was. It wasn’t enough to be in the youth group. I had to be up front leading – and I was.

I remember one class in high school – I think it was Physical Science – in which I set a goal to have a final total grade above 100%. And I did.

I don’t say all this to brag. I really don’t care about any of that. I’m proud of my academic achievement, but it’s not worth dwelling on – which is another thing 3s do. We set a goal. We achieve said goal. We move on to the next goal. We typically don’t dwell too long on our successes, which seems counter to our type. But as a 3, I’ve got a list of goals a mile long in my head. And celebrating achievements is rarely on the list.

Anyway, as I was saying – I’m not trying to brag. I just want to give you insight into how my mind works. I am my own biggest competition. I set goals and standards for myself, but rarely are they so high that I’m in danger of failing. Failure is not fun no matter what Type you are. But if you’re a 3, failure SUUUUUUCKS. The fear of failure (again, as defined by me) is what keeps me lying awake at night. Fear that I’m not doing enough brings about the existential dread at 3AM for no apparent reason.

If I’m not doing, then who am I?

I’ll talk more about the fear of failure later. But as a 3 in unhealth, I can tie my identity so closely to my own definition of success that I can’t really see or focus on anything else. Threes are the Type most in danger of becoming workaholics. And I believe it. That’s because we have a hard time believing that our lives have meaning apart from what we do, that we can be loved just for who we are.

As a 3 who has been a lifelong overachiever, I find myself drawn to Paul’s words in Philippians 3. The older I get, the more I appreciate this passage. If you’re a 3, take these words to heart.

If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.
But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. (Philippians 3:4b-7)

If you’re a 3, how would you define success? What has been your experience with success and achievements? If you’re a different Type, what is your relationship to success? Let me know in the comments below, and don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss a post!

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3 Benefits of the Enneagram

If you’ve been paying attention to Christian books, podcasts, Twitter, and YouTube, then I’m sure you’ve at least heard of something called the Enneagram. You may be familiar with it, or you may have no idea what that term means. I’m no expert, and I’ll direct you to some helpful resources in a coming post. But for now, I want to mention just three key ways my life has improved because of this tool called the Enneagram (inn-ē-uh-gram).

1) The Enneagram has introduced me to myself.

At its most basic, the Enneagram is a personality typing system. You may have taken some kind of personality assessment before, like the Meyers-Briggs (I’m an ENFJ, whatever that means). The Enneagram spells out nine different personality types represented by a number along a circular figure. Each number represents a different way of viewing and interacting with the world.

You may wonder what’s the big deal. But it’s more than just picking a number or taking a test online. As you’re reading through the descriptions of the numbers, there will come a point when you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut. You’ll get a sinking feeling in your stomach because suddenly you feel exposed for all the world to see. The Enneagram knows your deepest fears, shortcomings, and desires. The Enneagram knows how you react in stress and how you react in security. It reveals healthy and unhealthy patterns of behavior that creep up in your life.

I remember having that experience. I identify as a dominant Type THREE, sometimes called the Performer or Achiever. In times of stress, according to the Enneagram, I take on the unhealthy characteristics of a Type NINE, the Peacemaker. As I read the description of what that looked like, my jaw dropped. I think I got goosebumps. I felt nervous – in my bedroom alone reading this to myself. The way it described a THREE in stress was exactly what I found myself doing when I was going through times of “disintegration,” frustration, and stress.

It was like I was finally seeing myself clearly in the mirror for the first time. Warts and all. It isn’t a fun process. You may not like what you learn about yourself. But somehow you will know it’s all true.

2) The Enneagram has given me a new language.

I’ve never really been good at emotions and feelings. Chalk that up to being a THREE, I guess. But the Enneagram has given me a whole new vocabulary with which to communicate more clearly about my feelings.

Katelyn and I have been married for almost ten and a half years. We dated four and a half years before that. We’ve known each other for over fifteen years, and it’s just been in the last couple of years that we have really started to understand each other. She has learned things about me that I didn’t even know how to tell her – because I didn’t have the language for it. I’ve learned things about her that I never really would have known otherwise. We have been able to connect on a deeper level than ever because of the Enneagram.

Not only that, but it has helped me in my ministry. I work with teenagers full time. They are growing and developing their personalities at breakneck speed. They don’t know what’s going on inside them. But in listening to their stories and hearing how they describe themselves, their fears, their desires, their insecurities, I am better able to connect with them. The more knowledge I gain of the other eight types, the better I am to connect with people where they are and truly begin to understand what they’re going through and how they see the world.

3) The Enneagram has taught me what it means to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love my neighbor as myself.

The Nine types of the Enneagram have been called “The Nine Faces of God.” Each type reveals something of God’s own nature. Each type is also a path toward transformation in Christ. It’s not just a way of being, it’s a way of becoming who we were made to be. The Enneagram reveals the defense mechanisms we put in place to keep God and people at a distance. It also shows us what it looks like to break down those walls and allow ourselves to be fully known and loved.

The Enneagram is teaching me what it looks like to love God with my whole self, not just my intellect, not just my instincts, not just my emotions, but all of it. The Enneagram urges us to integrate head, heart, and hands. True worship and spiritual transformation is a process that includes thinking, feeling, and doing. Each of us is dominant in one area and regressive in another. Our task to to lean into the areas of weakness to become a fully integrated worshiper of God.

Through learning the Enneagram and confronting my “shadow side,” I am brought to a place of self-love and self-acceptance. Out of that place of inward health, I am better able to show love, grace, and forgiveness toward others. In other words, the Enneagram is a tool for developing empathy.

Jesus said the greatest command in Scripture is to love God with all you have and to love your neighbor as yourself. I have not found a more practical tool for learning how to love than the Enneagram.

Are you familiar with the Enneagram? What’s your Type? How has knowing the Enneagram helped you? Let me know in the comments below.