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ARE YOU LOST?

Road trips can be a lot of fun. You’ve got the music blaring, and you’re singing along at the top of your lungs. You’ve got your friends or family to talk to. You’ve got snacks. (Anyone else have snacks they only ever eat on road trips, or is it just me?)

One thing that definitely makes trips easier today is GPS. Whether you’re using a designation GPS, like TomTom or Garmin, or if you’re using the Google Maps app on your phone, it’s a whole lot easier than relying on an old road atlas to guide you through a city or across the state.


But even with GPS we can still get lost, turned around, or disoriented. I love this video of Tim Hawkins talking about the pros and cons of GPS.

I love what he says about GPS for life. Wouldn’t that be great?

Because if we’re honest, we’ve all gotten lost at some point. Getting lost can be terrible. You feel helpless and anxious. You may feel like the whole journey is ruined. And I think everyone at some point has felt lost on a spiritual or existential level.

So what should you do when you’re feeling lost in life? I think you should do some of the same things you would do if you’re lost on a road trip. And Psalm 19 can help us figure it out.

1) CHECK YOUR SURROUNDINGS


Psalm 19 is one of my favorite Psalms in Scripture. The Psalm itself is a journey of inward discovery. It begins with a powerful Ode to God’s Creation.

The heavens declare the glory of God;
    the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
    night after night they reveal knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words;
    no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
    their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
    It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
    like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
It rises at one end of the heavens
    and makes its circuit to the other;
    nothing is deprived of its warmth.
(Psalm 19:1-6)

When you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, or stressed in life I believe one of the best things you can do is to get back to nature. We have cut ourselves off from God’s creation so much these days. It does a spirit good to get back into the wild – whether it’s a hike in your local state park or a day out on the lake or simply watching the sunset in your backyard as the fireflies come out. Creation speaks volumes of the wonders of God.

As Jesus was telling his followers not to worry so much about life, he used God’s creation as an example for us – birds don’t worry about their food and flowers don’t worry about having the finest clothing. Paul informs the men of Athens that God is the creator of heaven and earth, and as such he is not far from any of us. Paul writes to the Romans that God has revealed his “divine nature and eternal power” through what he has created.

If you’re feeling lost, then check your surroundings. Get out in nature and look for God among the hills and the forests. Find God in the streams and rivers. Look for his fingerprints in the waterfalls, mountain peaks, and constellations.

2) CONSULT THE MAP


But life doesn’t come with a map!

Or does it? The second part of Psalm 19 is an Ode to God’s Word.

The law of the Lord is perfect,
    refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,
    making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right,
    giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant,
    giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the Lord is pure,
    enduring forever.
The decrees of the Lord are firm,
    and all of them are righteous.
They are more precious than gold,
    than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
    than honey from the honeycomb.
By them your servant is warned;
    in keeping them there is great reward.
(Psalm 19:7-11)

Check out all the things David says about the Law. Look at all the ways he describes the Law – it’s perfect, trustworthy, right, radiant, pure, firm, precious, sweet. And notice all the things the Law does – it refreshes the soul, makes wise the simple, gives joy to the heart, gives light to the eyes, endures forever, warns, rewards.

David gives a pretty good plug for God’s Word. That’s one strong endorsement. Maybe the Word is worth paying attention to!

Paul thinks so, too. He reminds Timothy, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

Get your bearings and consult the map. In other words, find God in creation and then consult his Word to know how to draw closer to him. Look at what Jesus says in John 5:39, “You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me…”

A map can only point you in the right direction. The map itself is not the destination. Just as God’s Word is meant to point us closer to God through Christ Jesus. The Bible itself is not the destination. But in learning the Scriptures we can know more about God, more about Christ, and more about how to draw closer to our final destination. (See last week’s post!)

3) GET MOVING


You’ve made a wrong turn and gotten lost. You’ve wandered down a path you never meant to be on. So you’ve stopped and taken in your surroundings. You’ve consulted the map and know which way you should have gone. So now it’s time to get a move on. And the best way to begin is by retracing your steps. Go back the way you came. Realize where you went wrong, and get back on the right path.

That’s called REPENTANCE.

But who can discern their own errors?
    Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep your servant also from willful sins;
    may they not rule over me.
Then I will be blameless,
    innocent of great transgression.
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
    be pleasing in your sight,
    Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
(Psalm 19:12-14)

Psalm 19 ends with a prayer. But it’s not just a past-oriented prayer. It’s also present- and future-oriented. David is praying that God will forgive his past sins, keep him from future sins, and that his present course of action will be pleasing to God.

Repentance is a process. It may not be a one-time thing. Just like it may take you a while to get back onto the right road after missing a turn, so it may take some time to get your life realigned with God’s will. It will take some backtracking. It will take some goal setting. It will take some serious work to get your priorities straight again. And you may still not be where you need to be, but at least you will be on the right road back.

Scripture is full of people who ended up lost and wandering. God is constantly reaching out to the wanderers urging them to come home, to come find him. When the people of Judah had gone completely off the rails, they ended up in exile in a foreign land (Babylon). God actually writes them a letter through the prophet Jeremiah. Look what he tells them:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” (Jeremiah 29:11-14)

I will be found by you. I will bring you home.

Jesus echoes these words in the Sermon on the Mount when he says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:7-8).

Get moving. When you search for God, He will find you. He will bring you home. You don’t have to live life lost.

FINALLY, don’t be afraid to stop and ask for help!


You are not on this journey alone. So many of us know the twists and turns and detours life has to throw at you. You may not know the way back, but there are plenty of other people who have wandered those same roads. They can help lead you back to the right path if you let them.

ARE WE THERE YET?

This summer in Wednesday night class we are seeing how a journey or road trip can be seen as a metaphor for our faith. Here’s a recap of what we talked about this past week (7/11/18).
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Whenever you take a road trip with kids, there are certain questions that are almost guaranteed to be asked – repeatedly – from the back seat. Do any of these sound familiar?


Where are we going?


Are we there yet?


How much longer?


I remember the “dad-joke” responses my parents always gave to those questions. Where are we going? “That way.” Thanks…

These questions are inevitable because most kids are curious. It’s not that they don’t trust their parents, it’s that they want to be “in the know.” And isn’t that the way it is with us when it comes to our faith? It’s not that we don’t trust God, we just want to be in the loop. We want to feel included. There is comfort in knowing certain things, and it makes some of us nervous when we don’t have any clear answers.

But I think we can find some answers to these very questions when it comes to our journey of faith.

WHERE ARE WE GOING?


When you start off on a journey, it’s good to know your final destination. I’ve never been one of those people who can just jump in the car and drive. “Going for a drive” has never been my thing. I like to know where I’m going.

So when it comes to the Christian faith, where are we going? Where is this all headed? What is the end goal of the journey?

If you said “heaven,” I will give you partial credit.

Here’s why. Jesus wasn’t that concerned about teaching people how to “get to heaven when you die.” The idea of heaven that most of us have is more shaped by Greco-Roman mythology than by the Scriptures or Jesus’ teachings. When we think about heaven, many of us picture this ethereal, spiritual realm, a completely disembodied existence. We picture a place where our souls finally escape this material world for an eternity floating among the clouds surrounded by light and rainbows and butterflies.

Not only does that sound dreadfully boring, that also sounds more like the Greek understanding of the afterlife – Hades and Elysium – than the new heavens and the new earth as described throughout the Bible. The goal of the Christian faith is not some disconnection or transcendence of the spirit beyond the physical plane. The goal is RESURRECTION, a re-creation of the “very good” cosmos as God intended it.

Jesus had a few different phrases for this.

  1. Kingdom of Heaven (used 31x in Matthew)
  2. Kingdom of God (used 14x in Mark and 32x in Luke)
  3. Eternal Life (used 17x in John)
The Kingdom is the end goal for the followers of Christ. What does that mean, though?
One of my favorite older hymns is “This Is My Father’s World.” I especially appreciate the final lines of that song: “This is my Father’s world / The battle is not done / Jesus who died shall be satisfied / and Earth and Heaven be one.” If heaven is God’s space and the Earth is humanity’s space, the end goal is not the complete separation of the two but rather the complete UNITY of the two.
This video from The Bible Project does an amazing job explaining this concept:
The goal of the Christian faith is not to “go to heaven when you die,” but to bring about the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth by living out God’s will.
ARE WE THERE YET?

Ugh…. the most insufferable of all the road trip questions. No! Of course not! Does it look like we’re there?! You will know when we get there.
As annoying as that question may be coming from the back seat on a long car ride, I think it’s a fair enough question to ask in regards to our journey of faith.
Are we there yet?
Look around. Does it look like we’re there yet?
When I take a look at the world I see nations in turmoil, genocide, human trafficking, poverty, famine, cancer, injustice, division. I see families splitting apart. I see children being ripped away from parents. I see lives full of potential cut short by suicide.
Does it look like we’re there?
But I also look around and see addicts finding healing and community. I see non-profits full of people stepping up to provide relief after famines and hurricanes and earthquakes. I see local food pantries serving thousands of people each month. I see men and women fighting against human trafficking, fighting against poverty, fighting against AIDS, fighting against suicide, fighting against injustice and corruption and hypocrisy.
Does it look like we’re there?
We live within the tension, within the paradox of the “already but not yet.” Is the Kingdom of God here? Yes. Is the Kingdom of God yet to come? Yes.
When Jesus began his ministry, he went around saying, “Repent for the kingdom of heaven is near.” It’s just around the corner. It’s so close I can smell it. It’s like going to the beach and smelling the ocean air before you can see the waves. It’s like going to the amusement park and hearing the screams from the coasters as you walk through the parking lot. The Kingdom of Heaven is near.
Jesus also taught his followers to pray like this, “Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Those two sentences mean the same thing – Jesus is praying in Hebrew poetic verse which is formed on parallelism. For God’s kingdom to come means that God’s will is being done on earth as it is in heaven. The kingdom of heaven is breaking through on earth. Wherever God’s will is done, that is where the kingdom can be found.
We live in the already, but not yet. We are in what Jesus called “the age to come.” The Kingdom is a present reality not fully realized. But that day is coming. Which leads us to the final question.
WHEN WILL WE GET THERE?

Before the days of GPS, this was an unbelievably vexing question because it required the driver to do math. (If our destination is 180 miles away and we’re averaging 72 miles per hour, then how long before we arrive, keeping in mind that the speed limit drops down to 55 and there’s construction…) But now my phone app tells me when we will arrive and keeps me updated to any changes. My 7yr old son likes to have the GPS on even when I know where I’m going because he likes to keep track of the countdown (only 17 minutes to go).
But this question of WHEN has been asked for thousands of years. Many times throughout the Psalms and the Prophets people raise the question, “How long, O Lord?!” It’s no different with us. We want to know God’s timing, and we want it to be in sync with our own agenda. We want God to act NOW. Or at the very least we want to know when God is going to act.

It’s fascinating to me the number of times men have tried to somehow calculate the time when Christ would return. What a fruitless endeavor if there ever were one. Christ himself made it almost painfully clear that no one – no even HE – knows God’s timing. The point is to be ready. The point is to live in the reality of the Kingdom of Heaven every day.

Right before Jesus leaves the earthly realm and ascends to the heavenly realm, he has this interaction with his disciples:

Then they gathered around him and asked him, “Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?”
He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” (Acts 1:6-8)

They were expecting the kingdom to come in full right then. But Jesus tells them that they have some work to do. Don’t worry about how long it will take. Just get busy living out God’s will and expanding the Kingdom here on earth. The rest of Acts is showing how that mission was carried out by the apostles and the earliest Christians.

But think about what that means for us today. According to some estimates, there are still 2-3 Billion people around the world who have never heard the gospel of Jesus Christ. There are many people who don’t have the Scriptures translated into their own language yet. We haven’t yet fulfilled the mission given to us 2000 years ago.

But God is patient. God is patient when we are not. God can out-wait anyone. As Peter reminds us:

With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. (2 Peter 3:8-9)

JUST TO RECAP


WHERE ARE WE GOING? It’s not so much about going anywhere. The Kingdom of God is coming here, to us.

ARE WE THERE YET? Yes and no. We need to be living as citizens of the Kingdom while realizing that the Kingdom has yet to fully come. We live in the “already but not yet.”

WHEN WILL WE GET THERE? We must be patient and wait on God’s timing. God wants as many people as possible to live the Kingdom life and to hear the Good News about Jesus.

UPLIFT 2018 HIGHLIGHT VIDEOS

A few weeks ago we had the chance to go to Harding University in Searcy, AR, for a week of camp called UPLIFT. This is a trip we’ve taken every summer I’ve been here. And each year I am blessed. A huge thanks to the Uplift directors, staff, and counselors for making a lasting impact on our teenagers.

This year the theme was LEAVE YOUR MARK. Please take a few minutes and check out the highlight videos below. If you weren’t able to go this year, I pray that you’ll be able to make the trip next year for Uplift 2019!

Here’s our own little video:

Here’s the official Uplift Session 3 Video:

PIERCED

This is a recap of the Encounter Class I taught at UPLIFT this year. Find out more about UPLIFT by going to upliftonline.com
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I don’t have tattoos or piercings. That actually makes me a little different from most of the young adults I know. It’s not that I’m against tattoos or piercings – I’m against needles. I can get shots and give blood, but I can’t watch them or look at the needle. If I even think about it too much, I can get light headed.

So the thought of getting a tattoo or piercing kinda freaks me out. But if other people want to do that to their bodies, more power to them.

Some people take their piercings very seriously. But I want to look at how piercing is connected to another topic: SERVANTHOOD.


EVERYONE SERVES SOMEONE

Think about this question: Who do you serve?

You’re initial response may be that this is a free country and you are nobody’s servant. But the more we think about it, the more we realize just how little freedom we actually have.

Some of us may feel like we are servants to our boss. Our employer runs our life. He makes our schedule. He tells us when we can eat lunch or when we can take a break or when we can go to the bathroom. We have to get permission to have time off so we can hang out with friends or go on trips with our families.

Or what about parents? Some teenagers may feel like they are always being bossed around by their parents. You find yourself saying things like It’s my room, why do I have to keep it clean for you? But I did the dishes last time! Why do I have to be home by 10:30? All my friends are staying out until midnight. I’m 16, I’m practically an adult! Maybe you feel like you parents are all up in your business, always telling you what to do or not to do.

Some of us may be servants to brands. We dress in all Nike everything – or Underarmour – or American Eagle. Every time you see that little green circle with a weird mermaid in it you instantly HAVE to have a caramel frappuccino. You can’t wait for the newest iPhone to come out. Our lives can be controlled by certain brands and companies without us even knowing.

How about fandoms? Maybe you know what Hogwarts house you’re in. Maybe you go see every Star Wars movie the night it comes out. You dress up in cosplay and attend conventions. You talk in movie quotes. You look down on anyone who has seen the movie but not read the book. How much of your life is spent in a fantasy world?

The list could go on and on – athletics, sports teams, popularity, smart phones, social media, pride, greed, self-image, etc….

When we peel back the surface, we begin to realize we are not as free as we might think.
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As I was watching Solo: A Star Wars Story at the Thursday night premier (yes, I know…), I heard this one line that really got me thinking. A young Han Solo meets back up with his childhood crush, Qi’ra, after being separated for many years. He finds out that Qi’ra has gotten involved with some pretty shady people – mob bosses, crime syndicates, etc. Han begins giving her a hard time about it, and she shoots back, “Everyone serves someone.”

Everyone serves someone. That was true in the movie, and it’s true in real life, too.

So I ask you this question: Given the choice between a life of freedom and a life of servanthood, which would you choose?

Seems like a simple, straightforward question. Obviously, we would all want to choose freedom. But it’s not so simple as that. Let’s find out why.

CHOOSE YOUR MASTER

In the book of Romans, Paul has some interesting things to say about freedom and servanthood. Check out this section from Romans 6:16-23 (New Living Translation):

Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living.

Because of the weakness of your human nature, I am using the illustration of slavery to help you understand all this. Previously, you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin. Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy.

When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the obligation to do right. And what was the result? You are now ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.

A few observations: 1) Paul is aware of the fact that “Everyone serves someone.” It’s not a question of if we are going to be enslaved, but to whom we are going to be enslaved. 2) There are only really two options for masters – God or the world, righteousness or sin, life or death. 3) We get to choose our own master! The choice must be made, but it will never be made for us. We will be servants to someone/something, but we get to choose.

The choice is ours to make, but it’s not always an easy one. What the world has to offer looks so enticing. Think about Eve with the forbidden fruit – it looked delicious. Think about Jesus being tempted in the wilderness as Satan showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their wealth – how hard would that be to turn down?! The world is offering us all we ever wanted – popularity, wealth, power, influence, “freedom.” It all looks so enticing. But it’s all a lie. It won’t lead you where you truly want to go. It’s not fulfilling. It won’t make you any happier of better off in life.

Do you know how I can say that with confidence? Because I look at the news headlines, and it seems like almost every week another celebrity has taken his or her own life. I think of Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, Avicii, Chester Bennington, Robin Williams, and the list goes on and on. Household names, TV Stars, Rock Stars, Fashion Designers – people who had it all yet felt so unfulfilled. They felt so enslaved that they could only think of one way out.

I’m also reminded of this video from Jim Carrey not too long ago:

You know who else knew about this better than just about anyone? Woody, from Toy Story 2:

In Toy Story 2, Woody is presented with a choice. He is accidentally sold at a yard sale and is picked up by a collector. Woody then realizes just how valuable he is to the world. He’s a highly prized collector’s item, and he is offered the chance to become world-famous. Woody sees his face on posters and lunch boxes and yo-yos. He is given everything he ever wanted…if he agrees to be shipped to the other side of the world and put on display behind a glass case never to be played with again.

There’s always a catch.

But Woody realizes that true freedom for him is found with Andy. Woody was not made to be a collector’s item. He was made to be loved and played with. He’s not just a toy, he’s Andy’s toy. Woody had a choice to make, and that’s the same choice we have to make today. Who are we going to serve?

I hope you’re beginning to see how the choice between freedom and servanthood isn’t quite so simple. What sounds like freedom can ultimately lead you down some dark paths, and you will wind up serving people who don’t really care about you. But when you choose to submit yourself in service to God, that’s where true freedom lies.

MAKING THE CHOICE

It’s not an easy choice to make, though. Let me draw your attention to an obscure little law in the Old Testament that connects the ideas of piercings and servanthood.

First, some context: Israel had been enslaved in Egypt for around 400 years. Then God, through Moses, delivered his people from Egypt. They are now a free people who are becoming their own nation. God led them to Mount Sinai where he gave the people his LAW – codes and regulations for everything from religion to government to personal finance. And yes, slavery was built into the system. But this slavery was more for economic reasons than we typically think of today. If a person fell on hard times, either extreme poverty or loads of debt, he could essentially lease himself off to a wealthier family. He would become their slave for a period of time in order to get out of poverty or pay down his debts. But God also built this into the system, too. Every seven years all debts were to be cancelled and all slaves were to be set free.

I would LOVE it if our government would cancel our student loan debts after seven years, but whatever.

But what if, after seven years, your servant doesn’t want to go free? What if your servant refuses to leave? God had a law for that, too.

Exodus 21:5-6 – But the slave may declare, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children. I don’t want to go free.’ If he does this, his master must present him before God. Then his master must take him to the door or doorpost and publicly pierce his ear with an awl. After that, the slave will serve his master for life.

Deuteronomy 15:16-17 – “But suppose your servant says, ‘I will not leave you,’ because he loves you and your family, and he has done well with you. In that case, take an awl and push it through his earlobe into the door. After that, he will be your servant for life. And do the same for your female servants.”

This raises all sorts of questions for me.

First, what’s the significance of piercing an ear at the doorpost?

The piercing mentioned was not done with a needle, it was done with an awl. An awl is a leather working tool that has been around for thousands of years. You can still pick one up today at your local hardware store. It’s main purpose is punching holes in leather – like making new holes in a belt. Using an awl to pierce an ear would hurt. But it would also be permanent. This would leave no small hole that would close up soon. It would be a large, permanent piercing. this was not a decision to be made lightly.

This was a permanent statement of devotion.

So why the ear? Think about it. If you are wearing earrings, can you see them without looking into a mirror? You can’t see your own earring. Earrings are accessories for other people to see. For a servant to have his/her ear pierced like this, it was a reminder not to themselves but to other people that he/she is devoted to this particular master.

This was a permanent, public statement of devotion.

But more than that, why would this piercing ritual have to be done at the doorpost? The front door is the most public place in the house. It’s where people come in and go out. It faces the main road. Anyone can see your front door when they look at your house. This ritual was done in public for all to see. The servant and master were essentially allowing the whole community to witness this act of submission.

This was a permanent, public, community-wide statement of devotion.

I see a lot of connections to baptism in this piercing ritual.

Why would anyone choose servanthood over freedom?


It’s right there in the text. The servant realizes that he loves his master and his master’s family. He knows how well off he has it. He is treated well. He is fed well. He has a place to sleep and clothes on his back. After seven years his master’s family has become to feel like his own family. Why would he want to leave? In leaving his master, he may find himself back in the same situations that got him to this life of slavery in the first place.

The decision to attach their identity to their Master had nothing to do with how great of a servant they were but how good their Master was.

When it comes to our relationship with God, our commitment to him has nothing to do with our own righteousness or how good we are. It has everything to do with how loving and gracious God is. And there is no better Master to whom we could devote our lives.

Where is Christ in this passage?


Whenever I am looking at a passage in the Old Testament, I ask myself where can I see Christ in this? I believe Jesus can be found throughout the Old Testament. So where do I see him in this obscure little law tucked away in Deuteronomy?

It’s pretty easy if you think about it.

Image result for Jesus on the cross

Christ was pierced. He wasn’t pierced through his ear, but he was pierced through his hands and his feet and his side and his head. He was pierced from head to toe. His whole body, not just an ear, was pierced in submission to God as his Master.

Christ was pierced, not at a doorpost but on the cross post. He was pierced through on a cross on display for all to see. His piercings were permanent (the only man-made thing in heaven), and his commitment was public for all to see.

Jesus said, “Not my will, but Yours be done.” He was pierced in submission to God, and he call each one of us to carry our cross and follow him.

Finally, what does this mean for us today?


I can’t say what it should mean for you to be pierced, but I can tell you what it meant for me. When I was in high school, between my freshman and sophomore year, I was at a summer camp. Each night of camp we ended with “Circle of Friends” – a time spent singing as the night wound down. On this particular night of camp,  a lot of emotions were running high. Many teenage campers needed someone to talk to. It ended up that all the youth ministers and counselors were busy talking and praying with campers, so they put some of us high school guys in charge of leading the songs.

It was my turn, and I can’t really tell you what songs I led. But I remember looking around the circle and seeing the Spirit of God at work in the lives of my fellow teenagers. And in that moment I felt God tell me that this was what I was supposed to do with my life. I felt God call me to minister to teenagers. And from that point on I set my sights on becoming a youth minister.

Not for the fame or the prestige, obviously not for the salary. But rather in submission to God’s will for my life. I guess you could say that was the night I went to the doorpost.

Have I been a perfect servant? Capital N-O. But thankfully, it’s not about how good of a servant I am – it’s about how great of a Master God has been, is, and will be.

God is worth going to the doorpost for.

THE PARADOX


Here’s the paradox of freedom. When we try to do like Frank Sinatra and do it “my way,” the life that looks like freedom can lead to heartache, destruction, slavery, and death. But when we choose to submit our lives to God (not my will but Yours be done), that’s where we find true freedom to be who we were made to be and to live the life we were made for.

True freedom lies in the path of submission.

How can that be true? Because there is a transformation that takes place. Check it out:

John 15:15 – “I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.”

Galatians 4:7 – Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir.

When we submit ourselves as slaves to God, he never leaves us as slaves. There is a transformation that turns us from slaves to friends of Jesus, children of God, full heirs of the promise of eternal life with God in Christ.

That sounds like all we could ever truly want.

I AM PIERCED


Can you tell God, “I love my Master; I am well off here; I do not want to leave”?

There is a song I grew up singing called “Pierce My Ear.” It’s based on this law from Exodus and Deuteronomy. And the more I researched this idea of being pierced, the more I came to appreciate this song.

Pierce my ear, O Lord my God
Take me to Your door this day
I will serve no other god
Lord, I’m here to stay


For You have paid the price for me
With Your blood You ransomed me
I will serve You eternally
A free man I’ll never be

PACKING FOR THE TRIP

This summer our Wednesday night discipleship training class is focused on The Journey of Faith. Here’s a recap of what we talked about last night.
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Summer. A time for pool parties, cookouts, camp, and…road trips. I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid my family went on a bunch of road trips during the summer. One of my earliest road trip memories was after my first grade year. We drove from Tennessee to Niagara Falls, New York City, Philadelphia, Washington DC, and back. I also remember a few years later taking a long trip out west to Yellowstone, the Rockies, Mount Rushmore, the Badlands, and back.

I believe one of the best metaphors for faith is a journey. John Bunyan’s classic allegorical masterpiece, The Pilgrim’s Progress (1678), captures the heart of this idea. Baptism is not a destination. Making a decision to follow Christ is not the end. It’s only the beginning to a whole new journey, with twists, turns, and challenges along the way.

So you’ve got to be prepared. That means packing.


EVERYDAY CARRY VS. BAGGAGE

I will admit that most people have probably not given as much thought to their Everyday Carry (EDC) as I have. You may not think about the things you grab to take with you as you walk out the door every morning. But I sure do. I do the “Three Pocket Pat” just about every time I leave the house to make sure I have my keys, wallet, pocket knife, cell phone, and chapstick. I also make sure I’ve got a watch on my wrist and sunglasses at the ready. Without any of these items I feel incomplete.

I’ve written more about my EDC a few weeks ago. Check it out here if you’re interested.

According to Wikipedia,

Everyday carry (EDC) or every day carry refers to items that are carried on a consistent basis to assist in dealing with normal everyday needs of modern society, including possible emergency situations.

Your EDC tends to be just the essentials that you know you will be using daily to fit a certain need.

Baggage, on the other hand, is not something you tote around with you day in and day out. Imagine how ridiculous it would be if you showed up to the first day of school pulling a fully loaded Samsonite suitcase behind you. Picture yourself showing up to your first day at a new job with a full size duffle bag loaded with a week’s work of clothing, toiletries, books, four pairs of shoes, a couple towels, and who knows what else.

But that’s exactly what we end up doing most of the time. You see, “baggage” has two meanings:

1. personal belongings packed in suitcases for traveling; luggage.
synonyms: luggage, suitcases, cases, bags   “leave your baggage with the inspectors”
2. past experiences or long-held ideas regarded as burdens and impediments.
“the emotional baggage I’m hauling around”

Many of us end up confusing baggage for everyday carry. Baggage has to do with the past — traumatic or stressful events in the past that you haven’t yet healed from — or with the future — worrying over all the what-ifs of life. Everyday carry is focused on the present — what you need right now, this day, just the essentials.

Just as baggage has a double meaning, I think EDC should, too. Our metaphorical EDC should include those characteristics and virtues that actually improve our life and come in handy on a daily basis.

So I have two questions for you: 1) What baggage are you lugging around everyday? 2) What EDC should you be grabbing before you leave your house?

I think the Bible can help us identify the answers to these questions.

BAGGAGE TO DUMP

Baggage makes our life worse, sometimes without our realizing it. Baggage slows us down. It keeps us anchored in the past or worried about the future. It drags us down, it keeps us from living life to the fullest.

Check out what Paul has to say to the churches in Galatia and Colossae:

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21 | NLT)

So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming. You used to do these things when your life was still part of this world. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. (Colossians 3:5-9 | NLT)

Even Jesus’ brother James has some warnings about the baggage we carry:

If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. (James 3:13-16 | NLT)

It’s like Paul and James are writing in direct response to our experiences in high school – jealousy, bitterness, envy, anger, greed, selfishness, divisions, impurity. Sounds like a typical Tuesday in the lunchroom. But do you notice what all these sinful attitudes and desires have in common? They are all inward focused. It’s all about ME. And that’s what baggage does – it demands that we focus on ourselves, blinding us to the needs of others. Baggage causes us to become so entrenched within ourselves that it may never occur to us that life could be different.

We have to stop hauling these things around with us all day every day. They aren’t helping. They’re only holding us back.

IMPROVE YOUR EDC

So what do we need to grab with us instead? What should we be doing our “pocket check” for in the mornings before we leave the house? Pay attention to what Paul and James say right after the sections above:

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! (Galatians 5:22-23 | NLT)

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. (Colossians 3:12-15 | NLT)

But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. (James 3:17 | NLT)

Before you leave for the day, make sure to unpack your anger, pride, and jealousy. Instead, make sure you bring along your love, mercy, and forgiveness. These are the essentials that will come in handy each and every day as you deal with the people and situations in your life. Humility, gentleness, thankfulness, sincerity – these are the tools we need to get us through the day in a way that honors God.

PACK LIGHT

On our family vacations we were always given this instruction: Pack Light. There was only so much room in our van for luggage. We were to bring only what we needed – just the essentials for the trip. We just couldn’t fit a bunch of excess supplies, clothing, or toys in the already crowded vehicle.

When we embark on our journey of faith, it’s important that we pack light so as not to be weighed down by a bunch of excess items we don’t need. In fact this was literally the case when Jesus sent his disciples out on their first mission without him. Check it out:

Then Jesus went from village to village, teaching the people. And he called his twelve disciples together and began sending them out two by two, giving them authority to cast out evil spirits. He told them to take nothing for their journey except a walking stick—no food, no traveler’s bag, no money. He allowed them to wear sandals but not to take a change of clothes.

“Wherever you go,” he said, “stay in the same house until you leave town. But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.”

So the disciples went out, telling everyone they met to repent of their sins and turn to God. And they cast out many demons and healed many sick people, anointing them with olive oil. (Mark 6:6-13 | NLT)

He sent his disciples out on pairs to prepare the surrounding towns to hear the Good News about Jesus. (Side note – discipleship was NEVER intended to be a solo journey. They were sent in groups of two. Following Jesus is something we do in community, not individually. It’s our own rugged individualism that leads to many of the problems discussed earlier – pride, jealousy, greed, etc. Don’t go it alone!)

But he also told them to pack light. In fact they were only to take what they had on their person – their EDC, if you will. This would allow them to travel more quickly and efficiently. But it would also force them to rely on the kindness of strangers for support along the way. When we rid ourselves of excess baggage and focus on improving our EDC, then stronger relationships and community will be the necessary result.

CUTTING THE EXCESS

Still unconvinced? Let’s imagine this scenario. It’s the day of the big track meet. You are up for the 400 meter race. The whole team is relying on you. If you win this, your team wins the meet. You approach the starting blocks, but confusion sweeps through the crowds as they watch your approach. You look down and realize that you’re wearing snow boots, jeans, a heavy parka, big gloves, and a scarf. Even though you are favored to win, the other runners are in their track shoes and lightweight shorts and top. You have just put yourself at a severe disadvantage.

This is another ridiculous scenario. It sounds like the kind of anxious nightmare you would have the night before the big race. But this is the reality we find ourselves living in much of the time. We continue to be weighed down and held back from being our best selves because of all the junk in our lives that we just won’t let go of. Listen to these words from Hebrews:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. (Hebrews 12:1-2 | NLT)

Strip off the excess. Focus on the finish line. And run your heart out. This is the journey of faith.

WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK?

You may realize that you have baggage in your life that is holding you back from being the man or woman God created you to be. You may be ready to make some changes, but you don’t know where to start. Let me offer some questions to ask yourself. But you must be completely honest with yourself in your answers.

1. Am I my own worst critic?

My seven year old has begun saying things like “I’m such an idiot” or “I’m so stupid” when he realizes he made some kind of a mistake. When I tell him not to talk that way, he says “But I’m saying it to myself, not anyone else. I didn’t call someone else an idiot.” So I had a talk with him the other day. If I heard another kid calling him those names, I would get really upset. If he had a friend call him stupid, that would really hurt his feelings. So if we don’t want other people talking to us that way, we shouldn’t talk to ourselves that way either.

Many of us are plagued by an inner critic that always points out our flaws and mistakes. That little voice tells us we’re not good enough, pretty enough, funny enough, strong enough, athletic enough. It tells us that if people really knew who we were on the inside, they wouldn’t like us or want to be our friend anymore. It tells us we have to be better, we have to keep people at a distance, we have to keep up the performance, otherwise we could be rejected and hurt.

If that’s you, then there is something you can do. Give that inner voice a name. Call it out when it’s dragging you down, and silence it. “Not right now, Martha.” “Be quiet Stacey.” “Stop being so rude, Barry.” By naming that inner critic, you are creating distance between it and you. By acknowledging it and calling it out, you are taking back the control over your inner thoughts.

Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.

2. What baggage have I inherited?

I remember going to the airport when I was younger. I would stand in line with my family at the check-in counter. We would all hoist our suitcases onto the scale beside the desk while the staff member asked us questions. One of the questions was “Did anyone else pack your bags or have control of your luggage?” I remember thinking, I’m old enough to pack my own bags, thank you very much! They asked that question just in case someone tried to sneak something into my luggage without my knowledge.

Isn’t that the way it goes, though? We have baggage we’re carrying around that has been passed down for generations. Our parents and grandparents may have gone through some stressful or traumatic events that cause them to develop negative attitudes or destructive behaviors. And those get passed right along to us without our knowledge or consent. We may inherit our dad’s hot temper or our mom’s passivity. We may shut down completely when things get hard – just like our grandfather. Studies have shown that in extreme cases, traumatic events experienced by parents and grandparents can leave a lasting imprint on future generations at a genetic level.

Realize it’s not all your fault. Some of this junk was passed down to you. Try to identify those things and deal with them as a family.

3. Are my defense mechanisms actually working?

As children we develop patterns of behavior in response to stress or trauma. But we often carry those defense mechanisms into our teenage and adult years where they become less appropriate. You may become passive aggressive. You may turn everything into a joke. You may build up emotional walls to keep people from getting too close. You may run away from a problem when the going gets tough. You may lash out at your friends and family for no apparent reason. You may project your own problems onto others.

How’s that working for ya? Is it making your life better or worse? Are your relationships closer and more open? Are you seeing the results you hope to accomplish? Often our defense mechanisms end up producing the exact opposite results from what we wanted. Do some self-reflection to discover patterns of behavior when you’re in conflict or stress. Replay those scenarios and ask yourself what you could have done differently. Set aside your anger and fear and selfishness. Try carrying with you gentleness and humility and self-control instead.

4. What kind of person do I want to be?

You probably don’t want to become that bitter old woman who never let herself get close to anyone. You probably don’t want to be known as that man who can’t control his temper. You probably don’t want to be labeled as a “problem child.” You most likely have an ideal image in your mind of the kind of person you want to be. Put some of it in writing. Set goals for yourself and develop a plan of action.

Sometimes you even have to “fake it until you make it.” Will pretending to be more compassionate actually make you more compassionate? Will pretending to be open and friendly make you become more open and friendly? Studies say…probably. We tend to think that behavior follows attitudes and values. But sometimes it’s just the opposite. Sometimes we can change our inward values and attitudes by changing our outward behaviors and actions.

Jesus didn’t ever wait for someone to become perfect before following him. Jesus called imperfect, flawed people to follow him. And it was through their time with him, looking to him as an example, that they became the kind of people they were created to be. It’s all part of the journey.

5. Do I really need this? Is this making my life better?

The point of EDC is functionality. If you aren’t going to use something on a daily basis, there is no point in carrying it with you every day. EDC is all about the essentials. So is our journey of faith.

We need to do a better job of asking ourselves “Do I really need _____________ in my life?” That could be an attitude, a relationship, a commitment you’ve already made. It could even be physical objects and possessions.

And the follow-up question is just as important. “Is _____________ making my life better?” Is pride improving you life? Is greed making you a better human being? When was the last time you felt better about yourself after scrolling through Instagram or Snapchat? When was the last time Twitter made your day better? How much better is your life since you’ve been holding onto that grudge?

HIT THE ROAD

Now that you’ve asked yourself the tough questions, now that you’ve cut the excess and grabbed just the essentials, it’s time to hit the road.

But where are we going? When will we be there? Are we there yet?

BETTER TOGETHER | Q&A

Before we began this series, I had the students in our youth group submit questions about relationship matters. They asked some GREAT questions. So this week to wrap up the series we answered those questions. Last night in class four of our own high school students did some research and presented their take on these questions and topics.

If you missed out on the discussion, keep scrolling and you will find Scriptures and helpful articles to do some of your own research. I hope and pray that you will find the answers you need to help you develop and maintain God-honoring relationships with your friends, your parents, your siblings, and your significant others.

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DEALING WITH BULLIES
How to deal with bullies / what to do if your friend is being bullied?
What to do if people are being jerks.


Check out these articles:


Read through these Scriptures:

Proverbs 16:18
Pride goes before destruction,
     a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 26:4-5
Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
    or you yourself will be just like him.
Answer a fool according to his folly,
    or he will be wise in his own eyes.
Proverbs 31:8-9
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
    for the rights of all who are destitute.
Speak up and judge fairly;
    defend the rights of the poor and needy.
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Matthew 5:21-26
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.”
Matthew 5:38-48
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Romans 12:17-21
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
1 Peter 2:23
When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.
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HANDLING FAMILY CONFLICT
How can you fix a broken relationship with family?
I feel like my family is falling apart, and I don’t know how to handle it.
What do you do about constant parent/child disagreements?

Check out these articles:
Read through these Scriptures:
Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up conflict,
    but love covers over all wrongs.
Matthew 10:35-37
“For I have come to turn
‘a man against his father,
    a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
    a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’
“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
Matthew 18:15-17
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
Matthew18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Ephesians 4:31-5:2
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Philippians 2:1-5
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus…
Colossians 3:12-14
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
1 Timothy 5:8
Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
James 4:1-3
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
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FRIENDS / FAMILY OF OTHER RELIGIONS
How to deal with religious differences among friends.

Check out these articles:
1 Corinthians 7:12-17
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
1 Corinthians 9:19-23
Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
1 Corinthians 10:27-33
If an unbeliever invites you to a meal and you want to go, eat whatever is put before you without raising questions of conscience. But if someone says to you, “This has been offered in sacrifice,” then do not eat it, both for the sake of the one who told you and for the sake of conscience. I am referring to the other person’s conscience, not yours. For why is my freedom being judged by another’s conscience? If I take part in the meal with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of something I thank God for?
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
Matthew 5:13-16
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”
Matthew 7:12
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
Romans 2:14-15
Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law. They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.
1 Peter 2:11-12
Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.
1 Peter 3:15
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…
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LETTING GO OF TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
How do you take yourself away from toxic people in your life?
What do I do when I have a friend that makes me feel like a burden to them? Do I talk to them or ignore it?

Check out these articles:
Psalm 1
Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers.
Not so the wicked!
    They are like chaff
    that the wind blows away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
    nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
    but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.
Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times,
    and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
Proverbs 22:24-25
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person,
    do not associate with one easily angered,
or you may learn their ways
    and get yourself ensnared.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
James 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

EVERYDAY CARRY

Everyday carry (EDC) refers to the items we carry with us on a consistent daily basis. As we work our way through the modern world, there are certain events we want to be prepared for, including emergency situations.

EDC has become increasingly popular over the last few years. I don’t know why, but I find it really interesting to see what other people choose to carry with them throughout their daily lives. I don’t know much about who they are, but I can tell that they lead VERY different lives from mine. I can think of very few situations in which I would ever need to carry a gun or two guns or a set of nunchucks.
You can check out everydaycarry.com for more inspiration and uploads. Or you can even search “Everyday Carry” on Amazon to find some really cool deals.

MY EDC
Here’s what I carry with me practically every single day.
  • iPhone SE 64GB with gray & blue Otterbox Commuter case
  • Timex Expedition watch, matte black with blue second hand accent and interchangeable 20mm nylon straps (I have gray, blue, black, brown, and olive)
  • Forrest & Harold slimeline wallet, mostly for cards, with a money clip for holding cash
  • Cheap-o Foster Grant sunglasses from Wal-Mart
  • Gerber Swagger knife with assisted opening
  • Chapstick
  • Key ring (my Civic, our Highlander, the church van, house key, church key)
  • I also almost always have a drink with me (not pictured) – either coffee in my Stanley vacuum travel mug (best travel mug EVER!), or a Contigo water bottle with flip-up drinking nozzle
My EDC is pretty minimal. I don’t feel the need to carry a ton with me through my everyday life. But if I leave the house without these essentials, I feel almost naked.
MY EVERY-WORKDAY CARRY
On work days, I grab all of the above on my person / in my pockets. But I also have what I consider my mobile office. I have everything I need to do (most of) my work wherever I go.
  • Macbook Pro 2012 – 500GB Hard Drive, 8GB RAM – the majority of my work takes place right here
  • Kindle Fire 8HD
  • Moleskin 8.25″x5″ lined journal
  • NIV Slimline Bible
  • 3 Pens – my favorites are the Pilot G2 .38mm
  • Small Altoids (for combatting coffee breath)
  • A fold-up carrying case for my various cords, etc. (2 microUSB charge cords, 1 6ft Lightning charger, plug-in headphones, 1 USB drive, a microfiber cleaning cloth, and a Gerber Mini Multitool)
  • Power Cord for MacBook Pro
  • Leather Messenger Bag (HLC brand from Amazon)
THE THINGS WE CARRY
So what about you? What do you carry with you? Take some time and really think through what you have and why you have it. But do this for more than your possessions and tools. Think about all the other stuff we carry – our relationships, our stress, our anxiety, our worries, our fears, our memories, our emotional baggage. What do you really need? And what do you need to shed?

BETTER TOGETHER | One Another

The one thing about Jesus life and ministry that amazes me even more than the miracle stories is the kind of people he brought together. When I read through the Gospels, I am shocked at the kind of people Jesus hung out with, ate with, and called friends.

Just think for a moment of all the people Jesus interacted with and befriended.

  • Fishermen
  • Tax Collectors (Matthew, Zacchaeus)
  • Prostitutes
  • Lepers
  • Pharisees
  • Zealots (guerilla assassins who attempted to overthrow Rome and kill soldiers and tax collectors)
  • Roman Centurions
  • Leaders of the Synagogue
  • Poor beggars
  • Rich benefactors
  • The woman caught in adultery
  • The woman who had been divorced and remarried five times and was now shacking up with another guy
  • The Canaanite woman whose daughter was afflicted by an evil spirit
  • A desperate father wanting healing for his son
  • Desperate friends wanting healing for their paralyzed friend
  • Devout Jews
  • Rebellious Samaritans
That’s quite the list. Jesus could never really be pinned down. Jesus defied all labels, all categories, all cliques. Jesus could feel at home with a bunch of “sinners and tax collectors” as well as with Pharisees and the religious elite. Jesus felt as comfortable out on the lake with a bunch of sweaty fishermen as he did in the Temple courts.
Wherever Jesus went he made everyone feel welcome and included. Whoever was with Jesus felt like they belonged there with him.
Maybe that in itself is one of the greatest miracles of Jesus – the miracle of radical inclusion.
Paul wrote about this radical inclusion in his letter to the church in Ephesus. One of the biggest problems facing the early church was how to include both Jews and Gentiles into this new thing called “The Way” or “The Kingdom.” Check out what Paul says:

      But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.
     For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.
      Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.
(Ephesians 2:13-22 | NIV)

That “dividing wall of hostility” was a real thing. Paul is referring to the literal wall in the Jerusalem Temple separating the Court of the Gentiles from the inner courts where only the Jews could go. There would have been signs warning against any Gentiles passing through the gates in the wall. Any uncircumcised Gentile could be put to death for getting too close to the Temple itself. Gentiles were forced to worship from afar. But through Jesus there is no dividing wall. There is only full, complete access to the Father through the Spirit.

More than that, there is not longer a distinction between Jews and Gentiles. A common justification for racism or xenophobia is to claim that people of other races or ethnicities aren’t quite the same kind of human as you. But long before we knew anything about DNA and species, Jesus destroyed those arguments by making the two groups into one new humanity. There is only one race – the human race. No single group has any inherent advantage over any other group in the eyes of our Creator. We are all equal citizens in the Kingdom of God, full-fledged members of God’s household. Together we are the Temple.

And all God’s people said “Amen.” Then they went home and lived together in perfect harmony, happily ever after.

Right?

If only…

WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

If the Gospels emphasize the radical inclusion of the Kingdom of God inaugurated in and through Jesus, then the books that come after (Acts and the Epistles) are all trying to answer the question, “So what do we do now?”

Nearly all of Paul’s letters have something to do with bringing Jewish and Gentile believers together under the Lordship of Jesus. A significant portion of Acts addresses the conflicting views between those who said Gentiles had to become more like Jews if they wanted to follow Jesus and those who said Gentiles didn’t have to follow the Law of Moses at all. Even Revelation gets in on the discussion when it paints this picture of heaven:

     After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. And they cried out in a loud voice:
   “Salvation belongs to our God,
    who sits on the throne,
    and to the Lamb.”
(Revelation 7:9-10)

And yet, the history of the church has been tainted with attitudes of hostility, racism, nationalism, even genocide and ethnic cleansing. It’s like we’ve been trying to build back up the “dividing wall of hostility” ever since Jesus tore it down. Because walls help us feel safe. They keep the bad people out. They keep us neatly divided as we think we should be.

Even within the church we try to emphasize our differences and divisions rather than what unites us. Often we end up placing more value on our national citizenship than on our citizenship in the Kingdom of Heaven. We paint people of other nations or ethnicities as the enemy, while ignoring the fact that we have brothers and sisters in Christ living and working and spreading the kingdom in those very nations.

What went wrong?

YOU HAD ONE JOB


I enjoy laughing at those memes where something goes horribly wrong and the tagline is “You had one job.”

It’s funny until it’s your job that was done wrong.

If I were to ask you what the number one job of the church is, what would you say?
Holding worship services?
-Feeding the poor?
-Caring for the homeless?
-Converting your atheist neighbor?
-Holding car wash fundraisers for mission trips?

While those are all good things, I believe they all miss the point. The one job of the church is to one-another one another. We can baptize thousands, but we won’t actually be making disciples unless we get to know one another more personally. We can feed millions, but we won’t actually be changing lives unless we are sharing meals with people and showing hospitality to one another.

One of the last things Jesus told his disciples before his crucifixion was this:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)

Our one job is to love one another. It’s hard to do that when the only time we’re around one another is for an hour on Sunday mornings sitting in pews and staring at the back of one another’s heads.

I think part of the reason we have this problem is our use of the word “church.” The original word in Greek is ekklesia. This was the word for a gathering of people, an assembly, a group. But by the time the Bible was being translated into English, the word commonly used in place of ekklesia was more like the word for “chapel.” It had come to refer to a place instead of a people, an institution rather than a gathering. We still use this language today when we talk about “going to church.” It’s a real shame that the translators used the word “church” instead of a word like “assembly.”

Christ didn’t die for an institution. Christ died for his people.

LET’S “ONE-ANOTHER” ONE ANOTHER

Like I said earlier, the Gospels introduce us to the radical inclusion of the Kingdom of God through Jesus. The rest of the New Testament is wrestling with the problems that arise when we promote and try to put into practice this kind of radical inclusion within a world full of “dividing walls of hostility.”

The solution is to one-another one another.

There are 59 passages in the New Testament that give instructions for how Christs followers are to treat “one another.” (Sometimes the phrase is translated as “each other,” but that’s not a big deal.) Check out this list:

1. “…Be at peace with each other.” (Mark 9:50)
2. “…Wash one another’s feet.” (John 13:14)
3. “…Love one another…” (John 13:34)
4. “…Love one another…” (John 13:34)
5. “…Love one another…” (John 13:35)
6. “…Love one another…” (John 15:12)
7. “…Love one another” (John 15:17)
8. “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love…” (Romans 12:10)
9. “…Honor one another above yourselves. (Romans 12:10)
10. “Live in harmony with one another…” (Romans 12:16)
11. “…Love one another…” (Romans 13:8)
12. “…Stop passing judgment on one another.” (Romans 14:13)
13. “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you…” (Romans 15:7)
14. “…Instruct one another.” (Romans 15:14)
15. “Greet one another with a holy kiss…” (Romans 16:16)
16. “…When you come together to eat, wait for each other.” (I Cor. 11:33)
17. “…Have equal concern for each other.” (I Corinthians 12:25)
18. “…Greet one another with a holy kiss.” (I Corinthians 16:20)
19. “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” (II Corinthians 13:12)
20. “…Serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13)
21. “If you keep on biting and devouring each other…you will be destroyed by each other.” 
(Galatians 5:15)
22. “Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.” (Galatians 5:26)
23. “Carry each other’s burdens…” (Galatians 6:2)
24. “…Be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2)
25. “Be kind and compassionate to one another…” (Ephesians 4:32)
26. “…Forgiving each other…” (Ephesians 4:32)
27. “Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.” (Ephesians 5:19)
28. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)
29. “…In humility consider others better than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3)
30. “Do not lie to each other…” (Colossians 3:9)
31. “Bear with each other…” (Colossians 3:13)
32. “…Forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.” (Colossians 3:13)
33. “Teach…[one another]” (Colossians 3:16)
34. “…Admonish one another (Colossians 3:16)
35. “…Make your love increase and overflow for each other.” (I Thessalonians 3:12)
36. “…Love each other.” (I Thessalonians 4:9)
37. “…Encourage each other…”(I Thessalonians 4:18)
38. “…Encourage each other…” I Thessalonians 5:11)
39. “…Build each other up…” (I Thessalonians 5:11)
40. “Encourage one another daily…” Hebrews 3:13)
41. “…Spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:24)
42. “…Encourage one another.” (Hebrews 10:25)
43. “…Do not slander one another.” (James 4:11)
44. “Don’t grumble against each other…” (James 5:9)
45. “Confess your sins to each other…” (James 5:16)
46. “…Pray for each other.” (James 5:16)
47. “…Love one another deeply, from the heart.” (I Peter 3:8)
48. “…Live in harmony with one another…” (I Peter 3:8)
49. “…Love each other deeply…” (I Peter 4:8)
50. “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” (I Peter 4:9)
51. “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others…” (I Peter 4:10)
52. “…Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another…”(I Peter 5:5)
53. “Greet one another with a kiss of love.” (I Peter 5:14)
54. “…Love one another.” (I John 3:11)
55. “…Love one another.” (I John 3:23)
56. “…Love one another.” (I John 4:7)
57. “…Love one another.” (I John 4:11)
58. “…Love one another.” (I John 4:12)
59. “…Love one another.” (II John 5)
http://www.smallgroupchurches.com/the-59-one-anothers-of-the-bible/

Just think about what the church would look like if we all loved and encouraged one another. How awesome would it be if we knew that in the church we would be free from envy or slander or gossip or lies or grudges? How different would our churches and families and communities look if we all did this?

We could go on a big in depth study on each one of these “one another” commands. But what good would that do? Why not just do it instead?

RELATIONSHIP GOALS

Accept one another just as Christ accepted you.
Find someone this week and let them know you accept them, that they belong, that they are valued.

Encourage one another and build each other up.
Take time to encourage someone. Tell them how much you appreciate them or how awesome you think they are. Share with them what impresses you about them or how you see God at work in them.

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.
Let the special people in your life know that you will always be there for them no matter what. You have their back. They can call or text you any time they need and you will be there.

Carry each other’s burdens.
Find someone you can open up to about what’s causing you stress and anxiety. Share with each other, pray for each other, and then offer to help each other through whatever it is.

Confess you sins to each other. Pray for each other. Forgive each other.
Find someone you trust and open up to them about what sins you are struggling with. Pray for each other and let each other know that you are forgiven. Promise to keep each other accountable.

Love one another deeply from the heart. Greet one another with a kiss of love.
Okay, so maybe not a kiss, but a hug will do the same. Give out hugs freely and let people know you love them. You’ll be amazed at how much that can change your whole day!


“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)


BETTER TOGETHER | Head of Household

I want you to think for a few moments about who does what in your household.

In your home…
Who does the dishes? (Mom / Dad / Kids)
Who does the laundry? (Mom / Dad / Kids)
Who does the sweeping / vacuuming? (Mom / Dad / Kids)
Who does the yard work? (Mom / Dad / Kids)
Who cleans up the vomit? (Mom / Dad / Kids)
Who takes care of the pets? (Mom / Dad / Kids)
Who works more? (Mom / Dad)
Who makes more money? (Mom / Dad)
Who is the disciplinarian? (Mom / Dad)
Who is the spiritual leader? (Mom / Dad)
Who is more affectionate? (Mom / Dad)
Who is the boss? (Mom / Dad / Kids)
Isn’t it interesting how we all kind of have different roles we fill in our households? In the majority of American households, the wives/mothers do the vast majority of the housework. I don’t think any of us are surprised. What I find surprising, though, is this bit or research from The Atlantic:

Overall in the U.S., women clean more than men do. American men did an average of 15 minutes of housework each day, while women did 45, the Cassinos write. Most men—77 percent—did no housework on any given day, while most women—55 percent—did at least some.

The title of the quoted article is this: “Emasculated Men Refuse to Do Chores—Except Cooking.” The article is about research showing a bizarre phenomenon. When wives make more money than their husbands, the men are less willing to help out around the house. It’s a fascinating article, so please check it out.

Sadly, the best marriages are those in which the household work is split somewhat more evenly. While it’s not necessarily a good idea to split it hard and fast down the middle (each partner performing exactly 50% of the chores), it is healthy for married couples to divide and conquer – and jumping in to help the other out on occasion without being asked. This article from Business Insider gives some great insight into how couples should approach their housework.

But this isn’t an article about chores and housework. The way we view those tasks is a starting point for a larger conversation. In the United States we are still fighting against this idea that a woman’s place is in the home. We still have an idealized view of the housewife who spends her day cleaning and cooking in a dress, high heels, and peals, so that everything is in pristine condition to welcome her hardworking husband home after a long day at the office.

We think this is normal. We think this is ideal. We think this is…God’s ideal.

And that’s where the danger comes in.


The fact is families are messy. No two families are exactly alike. Each family has different needs and wants. Each family is made up of different members in different arrangements. The only thing every family has in common is that all families are messy, broken, and dysfunctional. Because every family is made up of messy, broken, and dysfunctional people. To assume that there is any one ideal for family roles and functions is to deny our own individual, God-given personalities and talents.

So I want to spend some time looking at the very Scriptures that have been abused misinterpreted, and misapplied for centuries. There is a section of Scripture that has been used in support of patriarchal systems when in fact it was meant to do the exact opposite – lay the groundwork for the dismantling of patriarchy.

So let’s dive in, shall we?

[Much of what proceeds is inspired by a series of articles written by Rachel Held Evans. I highly encourage you to check them out. Click here for the first one.]

FATHER KNOWS BEST


As we begin, a little context. In ancient Rome families were structured around a societal hierarchy known as “pater familias.” This Latin phrase is understood as the “Father of the Family,” or “owner of the family estate.” Go ahead and check out the Wikipedia article explaining this concept more fully. It’s really eye-opening to see just how much power and authority was granted to the pater familias. “The pater familias was the oldest living male in a household, and exercised autocratic authority over his extended family.”

Basically, there was the Father at the top. Below him were the wife, children (sons over daughters in
rank of importance and value), and then salves/servants. The Father was essentially the owner of everyone else in the household. Women had very few rights apart from their husbands and were expected to be subservient and obedient to their husband. It was not at all uncommon for husbands to abuse their wives – physically, emotionally, verbally, and even sexually. The wife was his property. People did not marry for love in the ancient world. Marriage was an economic arrangement between two families, often solidifying a political bond or financial agreement.

If you think the treatment of women was bad, go read the section about children in the Wiki article. The pater familias essentially held the power of life or death over his children. Babies born with some deformity or weakness would often be left out in the elements to die. The pater familias held the authority to sell his own children into slavery. He had ultimate say over who his children could and could not marry. Even as married adults, the children were not free from the rule of the pater familias. He still had control over any business ventures his children pursued, and any land bought by the children was technically under control of the Father.

And let’s not even get started on slaves.

This was the reality of Roman households when Paul was writing letters to the churches. The question we must ask is – Did God intend for families to operate this way? Did God authorize slavery? Does God endorse the idea that women are merely the property of the husband? Would God really be okay with fathers selling their children into slavery?

Because if we don’t do any of the hard work diving into the context of Ephesians 5, this is exactly the kind of twisted view of relationships that can develop.

RESPECT MY AUTHORITY


Let’s start out in Ephesians 5:22-24. Look at what Paul instructs for wives in Christian households:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (English Standard Version)

A few observations. First, I believe there is a difference between “submitting” and “obeying.” Submission is an attitude, a general disposition towards another person. A person who submits to another person may still be able to argue their case respectfully, give input, and help with the decision making process. There can be a sort of freedom in submission. Paul does not command wives to obey. Obey implies blindly and unquestioningly following orders. Wives should relate to their husbands with an attitude of submission, but they are not expected to be robot-like in their obedience.

Second, (and let’s not overlook this one!) Paul says wives should submit to their own husbands. In Greek, the word for man and husband is the same, so we have to put it in context. I believe what Paul means is that women are not inherently submissive to all men. This passage has been used to oppress and exploit women because we have overlooked the simple fact that Paul does not put all women underneath all men. The husband and wife relationship is unique.

Third, when Paul says that the husband is the head of the wife, he’s speaking into a culture that is very familiar with that language. He is simply referencing the established “Head of Household” structure. What Paul does, though, is he puts stipulations on that arrangement. The husband is the head of the wife like Christ is the head of the church! Do you realize how revolutionary that was? Christ would never be abusive towards the church. Christ would never force his church to blindly obey him. Christ would never put unrealistic expectations on the church. Christ is worth following because we can trust him. The job of the head is to take care of the rest of the body!

When Paul says that wives should submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ, he is speaking freedom into a system of oppression. He is starting the wheels turning toward revolutionizing the way we view families and the way we value women.

WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?


Paul then turns towards the men. Check out his instructions for husbands:

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:25-33 | ESV)

Okay, we have some work to do with this one.

First, notice just how much more Paul has to say to husbands than he did to wives. His instructions to husbands is about three times as long.

Second, Paul brings love into the marriage. Love! Are you kidding me? Marriage isn’t about love. Is it? One of my favorite musicals is Fiddler on the Roof. The play focuses on a Jewish family in Russia during a time of oppression. One of the subplots focuses on the daughters running off to marry for love. At one point, the patriarch of the family, Tevye, asks his wife, Golde, “Do you love me?” To which she replies, “Do I WHAT?!” They break out into song (it is a musical, after all), and in the end they decide that, yes, they do love each other.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been sitting around with (usually older) men as they complain about their wives. It’s ridiculous how critical men can get. It’s younger men, too. I see those t-shirts with the newlywed couple on the front with the words “GAME OVER” underneath. Men have referred to their wives as “the old ball and chain.” That’s not love! Paul tells us to love our wives as Christ loves the church. We are to love our wives as we love our own bodies.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t ever see Christ complaining about his church, his bride. I never see Christ abusing her or talking down to her or ordering her around. What I see is Christ willingly laying down his life for his church. I see Jesus, the night before his crucifixion, washing the feet of his disciples, serving them in love.

Third, Paul appeals to Genesis 1 in order to subvert the whole concept of patriarchy and pater familias. From the beginning God intended for a man to “leave his father and mother.” When a man gets married, he is no longer under the authority of his father. Something new has begun. This flies in the face of every pro-patriarchy argument I hear people make.

Finally, Paul explains that marriage between a husband and wife is a beautiful metaphor of Christ and his church. Christ is our example. Christ is the true pater familias. Christ is the Head of the Household. Christ is at the center, not the husband.

This changes everything.

LIKE FATHER LIKE SON

Paul doesn’t stop with wives and husbands. He continues to give instructions on the father-child relationship.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4 | ESV)

Obey and honor. These are Paul’s instructions for children. Notice, children are to obey their parents, not just their father. Children are to honor their father and mother. Mothers had a higher role of authority in Jewish households than they did in Roman or Greek households. But yet again, we see Paul putting Husbands and Wives on equal standing within the household. Both are to be obeyed. Both are to be honored.

And again, he brings Christ into the equation. As children we should obey our parents in the Lord. As disciples of Jesus, we are to give honor to whom honor is due – especially our parents.

But Paul doesn’t stop there. He also has a word of instruction for Fathers – Don’t provoke your children to anger. Fathers have a tendency toward being authoritarian and hard-nosed in disciplining their children. Children need discipline, but what many fathers do boarders on abuse, leaving them traumatized and broken, feeling like they can’t do anything right or will never be good enough.

Fathers – don’t be too hard on your kids. But bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Paul brings Christ into the center of parent-child relationships.

YES, MASTER


This brings us to the most uncomfortable part of this entire section. Paul speaks to slaves and their masters.

Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free. Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him. (Ephesians 6:5-9 | ESV)

Can you imagine being in the church of the First Century? It was not uncommon for slaves and their masters to be a part of the same church. Paul continually speaks into the lives of slave and their masters in such a way that both would be viewed as equal (see the book of Philemon). Again, Paul is setting the stage for the entire system of slavery to be dismantled. Unfortunately, passages like this have been abused and misapplied to actually uphold systems of oppression and exploitation.

Are you seeing a pattern?

What Paul meant for freedom, man have used to continue with bondage – for women, children, and slaves. But when Christ is truly at the center of all these relationships, there can be only freedom and equality and love.

TAKE A STEP BACK


It’s important that we put all of this in context. This entire section, commonly known as “Christian Household Codes,” is prefaced with this game-changing statement:

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21 | NIV)

Submit to one another. Think about that. It baffles me that there are people who think Paul has something against women, that Paul thinks women are somehow inferior. Let me be clear – it has been power hungry men over the course of church history who have interpreted Paul through their own worldview lens instead of letting Paul (and Christ) critique their own cultural assumptions.

Paul makes some of the most strikingly egalitarian statements in the ancient world:

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. (Galatians 3:28 | NIV)

Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. (Colossians 3:11 | NIV)

So why is it that Christians seem to hold on to patriarchy and fight against equality?

I believe that’s finally beginning to change.

#METOO

It seems like more and more men are being brought down from on high because of their inappropriate words and/or actions towards women. To quote from old school Scripture: “Men and brothers, this ought not be!” There is never a reason to mistreat or abuse a woman. She is her own person, created on equal standing in the Image of God.

Paul is dismantling the pater familias hierarchy held by the Romans. And I think he would be appalled to find many of those same attitudes and behaviors prevalent in society (and the church!) today.

Most recently, a highly respected leader in the Southern Baptist Convention came under fire for comments and attitudes toward women. His thoughts about abusive relationships and his comments about young women go against everything Christ stands for. Christ was the one standing up for women who had been mistreated, abused, discarded and cast out. Jesus fought for the cause of every woman with her own #MeToo moment.

IT’S TIME


It’s time for men to show selfless love towards their wives. Guys, it’s time to learn how to do the dishes, how to do the laundry, and how to run the vacuum cleaner. It’s time to get serious about raising our children to know and love the Lord. It’s time for the church to fight for equality and respect for all people of all demographics.

RELATIONSHIP GOALS


Family dynamics are constantly changing. There is no one set way to be a family. Paul was not trying to say that we should ascribe to the pater familias hierarchy with a little bit of Jesus thrown in. He was revolutionizing the way we view all of our relationships by dismantling the hierarchy and embracing our equality at the foot of the cross.

Put Christ at the center of all your relationships. That won’t make everything better overnight. But it will set your focus where it belongs. I will leave you with a few more words from Paul, this time from his letter to the church in Philippi:

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus…
(Philippians 2:1-5 | NIV)

WE ARE YOUNG, pt 3

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12)
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I have a confession to make.

I get really defensive when I hear people complain about the younger generations.

I am a thirty-year-old youth minister. I am a Millennial who is ministering to Generation Z – you know, the tide-pod addicts who are always marching on Washington and stuff.

But I will also be the first to admit that getting defensive about any one particular generation is only going to drive yet another wedge into a massively divided culture. Each generation should be willing to hear and reflect on the criticisms of others.

No generation is inherently better than another. As we saw in my first post in this series, the older generations have been complaining about younger people since the beginning of history. No surprises here.

I guess the surprising thing for me is that we are STILL having these arguments.


THE AGE OF AGEISM
Maybe you aren’t explicitly stating that the Boomers are better than Millennials. Maybe you aren’t going around touting Generation X as God’s gift to American society. But most of us are unconsciously biased in favor of people our own age and/or against people who are younger/older than we are.

This is called AGEISM. Ageism is prejudice or discrimination against another person on the basis of his/her age. Ageism has been deemed “the last acceptable form of prejudice” in our culture. And ageism works both ways – younger people mistrusting older people, and older people discriminating against younger people.

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I believe ageism is more prevalent that most of us realize. I recently asked on Facebook if people have ever felt judged, discriminated against, or looked down on because of their age – either younger or older. The overwhelming response was YES. (I think I only had one NO out of everyone.)

Ageism can be obvious or even stated outright – “You’re only, what 24? 25? You don’t know enough about life yet.” Or it can be veiled and less conspicuous – a patronizing smile, a joke, a frustrated sigh of exasperation. Ageist attitudes can be difficult to spot, and therefore difficult to call out. When you see, for instance, a white barista calling the police on two black men sitting peacefully inside the coffee shop, it’s easy to call that out as RACIST. But when an older lady in Walmart calls a younger person “rude” simply for waiting her turn to get something in the aisle – is that lady just in a bad mood or was she projecting her ageist views that all Millennials are rude, entitled, brats?

YOUTH AND CONSEQUENCES
We have a weird relationship with age in this country. More specifically, we have a weird relationship with YOUTH. Take a look at the commercials and advertisements around you. How many of them have something to do with feeling/looking younger? How many cosmetic products are promoted as “age-defying?” How many hair dyes and cosmetic surgery procedures do you need to feel youthful again?

So on the one hand YOUTH is held up as this standard to achieve (as if that even makes sense).

On the other hand our teenagers and young adults are being encouraged to “grow up” at alarming rates. Our teenage high school students face more pressure, more stress, and more calendar events than any adult I know. I see it every day. Students are forced to balance school work, sports, part-time jobs, friendships, dating relationships, family time, volunteering, and more. I don’t know many adults who work as many hours per week as some of the teenagers I minister to.

And let’s not overlook the fact that puberty is occurring earlier and adolescence is lasting longer than ever before.

We are pressuring our teenagers to grow up. Young adults don’t feel like real adults. Adults are trying to stay young.

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So here’s my question: Is the church guilty of AGEISM? If so, we have a lot of work to do. How can we be a light to the world or confusion? How can we offer hope in a world of chaos? How can we work toward equality in a world of division?

Let’s look to Scripture.

HOW TO DESTROY A COUNTRY IN THREE DAYS 
In 1 Kings 12 we see the tragic story of Rehoboam, the son of Solomon, King of Israel. Solomon had led the nation of Israel to a time of strength and prosperity greater than they could have imagined. Solomon’s God-given wisdom and governing skills are largely the reason for this – skills which were evidently not passed down to his son and heir to the throne.

When Solomon died, Rehoboam consulted his father’s counsel of elders for advice. Should he give in to the people’s demands for lower taxes and ease up on their labor load? The elders advised him to appease the people and lessen the burden. But then Rehoboam went to his peers, the young men he had grown up with. The young guns told him to flex his muscles and put the hammer down. They told him to let the people know that HE was in charge now, that HE was the one with the power.

Rehoboam listened to the bullheaded advice of the younger men. Because of this, the nation of Israel was divided, the ten northern tribes split off and formed the nation of Israel, leaving Rehoboam with only Judah and Benjamin, forming the nation of Judah.

If Rehoboam had listened to the counsel of the elders, he could have saved himself and his fellow countrymen centuries worth of trouble and heartache.

WE NEED EACH OTHER
As a country and as a church we must realize that we need each other.

The older generations need to pass the torch. I’ve seen many older folks holding on desperately to their position because they think that it’s the only way they can have significance. But in training up the next generation of leaders, your significance and influence will grow beyond anything you could ever achieve by yourself. Train up someone younger to take your place and then pass the torch!

The younger generations need to be willing to listen and learn from our elders. As we saw in my last post, I believe that it’s the younger generations who have the greatest chance of bringing about real change in the world. But we younger people need to heed the wisdom and counsel of those with more life experience than us.

Every Joshua needs his Moses. Every David needs his Samuel. Every Ruth needs her Naomi. Every Esther needs her Mordecai. Every Timothy needs his Paul. AND VICE VERSA!

I believe that everyone should have someone 7-10 years younger to mentor, advise, and disciple. AND everyone needs someone 10+years older to be their mentor, advisor, and teacher.

The church can and should be modeling this for the rest of the world.
The church can and should be a place where people of all ages feel loved, welcomed, and accepted.
The church can and should be a place where ageism is nonexistent.
The church can and should be a place where no one ever looks down on somebody because of their age.

But is it?

More next time. Until then, check out this video: